


Take My Hand

by Sorin



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Multi, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:16:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorin/pseuds/Sorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As requested, here's an AU regarding what might have happened had we all had our wishes granted. Takes place after The Vault and will contain spoilers here and there for the rest of the storyline, and will be a multi-chapter work. There is explicit content at the end of chapter 4 and near the beginning of chapter 6, but it can be easily skipped if that's not your cup of tea:)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Until There's Nothing Left But You

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is... and it's happy, or at least I think so! :D I still want to hold to everyone being able to relate to the WoL, but in this instance I lean toward making the more of a healy type... at least for this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

I knew from the start that this was going to be a bad situation.Breaking into the Vault seems difficult enough for an army, let alone a handful of people with the same goal in mind.I stare at the building that looms in the distance and then look at Haurchefant, who stands next to me.His expression is grim as well, but it softens when he looks down at me.

“You’ll be all right?” he asks for what must be the hundredth time.I am going alone- he will be with Estinien and the others, searching for Aymeric.I am to serve as the distraction, and that suits me well enough.

I nod.I will be fine, of that I’m sure.During my time on the battlefield I’ve picked up many skills- melee combat, spellcasting, even healing.I’ve no concern for myself… my concern is all for him.

He sighs and looks back at the Vault, lips pressing into a thin line.He is not happy with this arrangement, and it shows in every line of his body.“Damn him,” he mutters, and for a second I’m not sure if he’s talking about Aymeric or the Archbishop.“To imprison his own son- it’s disgraceful… then again, he never acknowledged him, so I’m uncertain as to why I'm surprised by this.”

I glance up at him with a faint smile.He is lucky- his father adores him.Not all of us are as lucky as he is… and I think that fact is starting to occur to him much faster than he’d like.He certainly isn’t ignorant of the way his society works, but he does tend to look at things through rose-colored glasses, I’ve noticed.It’s yet another thing I find charming about him.

His armor jingles softly as he shifts his weight, and he looks down at me again, pensive.“The Heaven’s Ward is not a foe to be taken lightly, my friend.I’m certain you’re aware of this, but…”

A quick glance around shows nobody nearby, and nobody looking, so I risk reaching up and lightly putting my index finger over his lips.I smile, and I wink before drawing back.“Don’t worry,” I say softly.I’ll be fine- I'm always fine in the end.I then touch my finger to my own lips, then to my heart.He’ll know what I mean, I’m sure of it.

He exhales, then nods and smiles faintly, repeating the gesture before turning his attention forward.“Let us away,” he says, his voice now holding a note of determination.“I’d rather not leave Aymeric in their hands for a moment longer than is necessary.”

I nod as well, and the two of us set off.We meet briefly with the others outside and then split up, and he glances over his shoulder at me before he goes, and I smile at him.He smiles back, quickly, then is gone- and it’s time for me to focus on my task.

Getting through the Vault is harrowing, and by the time I make it past the Heaven’s Ward, who are bound and determined to stop me, I am panting and exhausted.I’m relieved to find Haurchefant waiting with Aymeric and Estinien, and I hurry up and stand next to them.Aymeric is in bad shape- he’s bent over slightly, gripping his right arm, clearly favoring his knee as well.I grit my teeth before turning my sharp eyes toward the Archbishop.He will pay for this, I think, for every drop of his own son’s blood he ordered to be spilled.

“We were not too late, my friend!”

I look over and Haurchefant smiles, tilting his head and crinkling his eyes in that way I find so thoroughly charming.I smile and nod as well, but my expression darkens again in just a few heartbeats.Aymeric steps forward and tries to plead with his father, but the Archbishop brushes him off- I knew he would.There was no way he’d simply lay down and admit all the lies and deceit just because Aymeric asked him to do so.I feel sad for Aymeric, hearing the sorrow and despair in his voice, but I have to focus on what’s in front of me now.

Haurchefant looks at me, and I look at him.He nods, and the two of us take off running toward the airship.No matter what, we _must_ stop the Archbishop from leaving- otherwise, we may not catch up in time, and I don’t want to think of what the consequences of that might be.I’m focused on what’s ahead, single-mindedly staring down my target, and I only half hear his shout of warning.Once it registers I immediately stop and turn back in time to see a bolt of lightning headed straight for us, but before I can act he is in front of me with his shield up.

A thousand thoughts go through my head in those few seconds.I want to move, but I am rooted to the spot- it’s as though I’m magically bound.I hear his shield start to give way, reach forward with a warning on my lips, and then it is over.

The shield breaks.

He flies backwards and lands a few paces in front of me, blood dripping from his mouth, splattering on my white robes, on my face and neck.

My ears are ringing in the silence.I can barely breathe.Panic grips me- I’ve never felt this way, not once in my life.

It’s Aymeric’s cry of his name that snaps me out of it, and I kneel next to him and stare down at him in mute horror.I can’t force my voice to work, I can’t do anything- all I can do is think of how _desperately_ I need him, how I can’t lose him, how he. must. _live._

Aymeric and the others reach us before I can do much more than wrap my mind around that concept, and he kneels, gently lifting Haurchefant into his arms.Haurchefant opens his eyes, cloudy with pain, and when he sees me, his lips curve into a faint smile.The horrible wound in his chest is going to kill him, I think.I don’t believe in fate, not truly, but in that moment I realize mine is about to be torn away from me unless I act immediately.

I close my eyes and reach inward, seeking the Light inside of me, willing it to take shape.My hands, extended over his chest, start to glow.I breathe deeply and evenly, letting it fill me from my toes to my fingertips.The healing magic answers my call, born out of my desperate prayer- _please, don’t take him from me, not the one thing I can truly call my own-_ and the world is enveloped in a white glow.

I fall forward.I am distantly aware of cries of my name, of his name, and strong arms wrap around me- and then there’s nothing.

When I wake, it’s dark.I come out of unconsciousness slowly, with the knowledge hovering in the back of my mind that I had pushed myself dangerously close to my limit.I don’t care about that, though… all I care about is that he made it.I gasp and push myself up, but I’m as weak as a newborn kitten, and I fall back to the mattress with a huff.

“You’re awake!”The voice is familiar, dear to my heart, and I move as best I can to see him.He’s sitting in the chair next to my bed, wide-eyed and disheveled, and he reaches out and clasps my hand tight.“Praise Halone-!”

I don’t understand.The real miracle is that _he’s_ alive, not that I am.I stare at him in disbelief and shake my head, then tug on his hand with what strength I have left.I’m able to lift my arms when he leans over me, and I hug him as tightly as I can- which, infuriatingly, isn’t very. I shake when I try to tighten my grip, and he shushes me, gently drawing back and shaking his head.

“You must rest, my dear,” he says.“You’ve been unconscious for two days.Here, let me help.”He carefully lifts me, as though I’m the one who was wounded, and piles the pillows behind me so I can recline against them.Everything is rapidly coming back to me and I stare hard at him.He smiles at me, but it’s a far cry from his usual boisterous grin… and I realize there are tears in his eyes.

Alarmed, I reach out, and he quickly takes my hand and presses it to his cheek.I ask him why he’s crying- I’m truly puzzled. _I_ was never in any danger.

He shakes his head, and his tears spill over, hot against my fingers.“Because I’m thankful that you’re all right,” he says, his voice shaking ever so slightly.“You spent everything you had.None of us were sure if you’d make it.”

I bite my lip.It had been worth it, either way, I think. I smile up at him and shake my head.“Don’t look at me that way,” I say quietly.“A smile suits you better… it always has.”

He laughs a little and lifts his free hand to wipe at his eyes, and he smiles at me.“Very well,” he replies, his voice still a little hoarse.“I have great cause to smile, as it happens.”

It takes me a moment to wrest my mind back to everything else, and once again alarmed, I stare at him wide-eyed.Had Aymeric recovered?What about the Archbishop?Had they stopped him?

“Aymeric is fine,” he replies, gently lowering my hand from his face and holding it in both of his own.“You healed all of us, it seems… even the Heaven’s Ward that you battered in the Vault.”

I frown.I certainly hadn’t meant for _that_ to happen.Still, if Aymeric benefited as well, I suppose I can’t complain too fiercely about it… and the knights I defeated would have been healed regardless.They weren’t near death- they retreated before I could get that far.

“As for the Archbishop and the rest… they left on their airship to Azys Lla.”His expression darkens a little and he shakes his head.“Estinien ran after them, but it was too late.They’d hoped for a distraction, and they got their wish.”

My head falls back against the pillows and I close my eyes tight.I _failed._

“No, beloved, you did not,” Haurchefant said, his voice gentle but holding a note that said I would be better not to argue.“You helped recover Aymeric, which was our original goal.That the Archbishop escaped is unfortunate, but we will see him pay for his crimes.”

I nod, my eyes drifting closed briefly before opening again in surprise when someone knocks on the door.Haurchefant gets up and makes sure he’s composed before answering, and I smile when Aymeric and Estinien walk in.Aymeric is limping, I note, which means I must not have done as good a job as Haurchefant had led me to believe- but it’s enough that he’s alive and free, I think.

“Ah!Praise Halone, you’re awake at last!”Aymeric smiles and makes his way over to the bed, sitting down in the chair Haurchefant had abandoned with a brief grimace of pain.It clears as soon as it had appeared, however, replaced with a look of concern.“We were truly starting to worry.”

“We?”Estinien snorts, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.“I never worried.I’ve seen the Warrior of Light in action.Best not to ever doubt abilities like those.”

I can’t help the soft laugh that huffs out of me.Just like Estinien, I think with a note of fondness- he never worries, he simply _acts._

Aymeric chuckles.“Fair enough. _I_ worried, as did Haurchefant and the others.”He tilts his head slightly.“How are you feeling?”

I nod.I feel fine, really, if not weary- and still infuriatingly weak.I wonder how long that’s going to last, and how long it will be until I’m so sick of the four walls around me that I ignore orders to stay in bed and go seek fresh air.

“That’s to be expected, I fear,” he replies, shaking his head slightly.“I don’t claim to understand the ways of magic, but the white mages who examined you when we brought you back simply said you had exhausted everything you had.They didn’t know how long you would sleep.I, foolishly, expected it to be a matter of hours.”

Estinien shifted a little.“Now that we’ve established our friend’s health, let us consider turning our thoughts to what the Archbishop might be up to in Azys Lla.Do we know anything about the place?”

“I’m afraid not,” Haurchefant replied regretfully.“It has something to do with the Allegans, but I had always thought it was folklore.”

If it has to do with the Allegans, then surely Cid will know.I smile- something’s working in our favor at last, I think.Cid helped unravel the mystery of the Crystal Tower, and I’m fully confident he’ll be able to do the same for Azys Lla.

Aymeric bowed his head, then looked back at Estinien.“Cid is the man who helped you into the Aery, is he not?”When Estinien nodded, Aymeric nodded back.“Good.Go and ask him what he knows and what he thinks he may require.”

Estinien pushed off from the wall.“And you three get some rest,” he said gruffly.“The last thing we need is all of you bedridden.I’ll return when I know something useful.”

When the door shut behind him, Aymeric sighed as Haurchefant chuckled.“He really was worried,” Aymeric says to me with an amused smile.“He just won’t admit it.You know how he is.”

I smile.I like Estinien that way- he wouldn’t be Estinien if he weren’t rough around the edges.My smile fades a little and I sigh, looking up at the ceiling.I hadn’t meant to worry anyone… I’d just wanted to save Haurchefant’s life.

Aymeric pauses, looking at Haurchefant and then at me.“I don’t quite understand what you did,” he says slowly.“Never before have I seen healing magic like that.”

I don’t understand what I did either, so that’s fair.I look at him and shake my head slightly.All I’d cared about in that moment was saving my beloved- and a wave of panic crashes over me as I look at Haurchefant with wide eyes.

“It’s all right,” he says quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking my hand again.He glances at Aymeric and then looks at me with a sheepish smile.“Aymeric is the only one who knows, and I didn’t tell him. _He_ told _me._ ”

I blink and look at Aymeric, who is smiling.“That’s true,” Aymeric muses.“You came to me that day telling me you’d solved the mystery of love, going on and on about it, and I thought you were simply… well, being _you-_ until I started to watch closer.”He looks at me and nods.“Have no fear, your secret is completely safe with me.”

I sigh, then smile and shrug.There’s nothing to be done about it, and I’m too happy he’s alive to care much about the rest.

Aymeric takes his leave after a little while to go rest as Estinien bade him, and Haurchefant smiles at me.“I’ll go get you something to eat,” he says.“I’m sure you’re half starved.”

That’s true.My stomach growls at the mention of food and I immediately blush, and he laughs, leaning down to give me a kiss before leaving the room as well.I settle back into the pillows and smile again, looking up at the ceiling before closing my eyes.Our mission was a success, more or less, and my love is by my side.I’m quite certain I can face anything down, knowing that… and I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost him.That’s a troubling thought, and I am anxious until he returns to my side with a tray of food.

“Here we are,” he says cheerfully.I blink and sniff the air, then lean forward as he grins and carefully sets the tray across my legs.I stare up at him, then, and he sits down looking utterly pleased with himself.

On the tray is a bowl of my favorite stew from Gridania, the same stew I’d brought him when he was ill… the same I ate the day we traveled there together.My lips part in surprise, then I have to quickly reach up to wipe at my eyes.It’s funny how things like that work, but it’s the sight and smell of the stew that brings everything that had happened in the Vault back to me like a brick wall, and I start sobbing.

Haurchefant quickly moves the tray away and pulls me into his arms, holding me close.“It’s all right,” he murmurs as I cry into his chest.“Don’t cry, my love…”

I can’t _help_ it.I almost lost him, I almost didn’t act in time.I can’t even imagine it- it hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced.

He holds me close to his heart until my tears slow, and eventually stop altogether, the only evidence left being the occasional hitched breath as I calm down.He is as gentle with me as he ever has been, stroking my hair and sheltering me.He reaches aside and comes back with a cool cloth- likely intended to wipe my hands with before eating- and gently cleans my face.I feel a little better, though I’m sure I look an absolute wreck.He smiles at me and brushes his lips against my forehead, and then gives me my food back.He doesn’t say anything else, and I’m very, very glad for that… although I’m not ashamed that he saw me like that, I still want to be strong for him no matter what’s happening.

Once my stew is finished he takes the tray from me and then sits on the bed next to me, reclining against the pillows by my side.I immediately tuck myself against him and he draws a blanket up over us both.“Rest now,” he murmurs.“I’ll stay right here next to you.”

I nod and close my eyes, letting him soothe me- the way he holds me, the smell of cedar and woodsmoke that clings to him, the sound of his heartbeat.I’m fairly certain it will be a long time before I can rest without him, but with him so close, I’m able to drift back to sleep… and this time, I pray, with no nightmares, no what-ifs, no could-have-beens.All I want to think about is the present, and the future I’ll be spending with him once all of this is over.

 


	2. Learning to Walk Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, relearning what you knew before can be the most difficult thing you have to go through.

 

It’s two whole days before I’m able to get out of bed, and when I finally do, it’s Alphinaud who’s there to help me.Haurchefant had gone off on an errand of some sort, and I’m so tired of being confined to one place I threaten to get up myself if that’s what it takes, and luckily, though stubborn, Alphinaud is no fool and he knows I’ll make good on my promise.

“Be careful,” he warns, holding my hands as I slowly stand up.“Not too fast, now… there!”He smiles at me and nods, letting go and stepping back.“How’s that feel?”

I smile and carefully stretch.It feels _wonderful._ I hate being confined, and while it’s happened a few times that I can recall, I never did handle it well.Under his watchful eyes, I slowly pad to the window and peer out.The windows do open, but it’s rare that one would ever want to do so- and I grimace when I realize I can’t see through the blowing snow.

Alphinaud smiles sympathetically, walking over to look out next to me.“You were wanting to go outside, I take it… that won’t be happening today, I’m afraid.”

I sigh.I want fresh air… and more than that, and something I can have immediately, I want a bath.I turn to him, and he lifts his hands.

“I’ll have it drawn for you, but you’re on your own, so _do_ try not to drown yourself,” he says.He skitters out like he’s been stung, and I can’t help but chuckle as I lean against the windowsill.He’s cute, I think… I like teasing him.

Once the bath is drawn I carefully undress and lower myself into it, then sigh in pleasure and tip my head back, wetting my hair.Of all the things I truly miss when I’m traveling, it’s the chance to take a nice bath.I _hate_ being dirty.I pause, then chuckle softly to myself.More to the point, I hate being dirty when Haurchefant is around.I have to admit, I have enough vanity to appreciate looking good for him, though I honestly think he doesn’t care.I’ve come back to Camp Dragonhead filthy and blood-covered, bruised and battered, and he’s never been unhappy to see me.

I focus on getting myself as clean as possible, and it isn’t until I start to feel a little lightheaded that I get out of the water.I settle on a wooden bench and dry myself off, then dress in the clothes Tataru had made me.I think that will serve for now, since it looks like I’m not going to be going anywhere anytime soon.I slowly make my way back into my room, then head downstairs to see what everyone’s up to.

The only person in the solar is Haurchefant’s younger brother, Artoriel.He jumps up when he sees me, smiling broadly.

“There you are!Praise Halone, it’s good to see you up and about.”He walks over to me and pauses, then shakes his head.“I can’t even begin to thank you enough for what you did for Haurchefant,” he says quietly.“All of House Fortemps is in your debt.”

I shake my head.I’d only been thinking of myself when I healed him, and what I personally stood to lose… I hadn’t thought about anyone or anything else.It was a selfless act, yes, but the motivations behind it were selfish.I couldn’t stand the thought of life without him.I smile weakly, in any case- I don’t want Artoriel to worry.

Artoriel seems to understand, at least in a way.He knows Haurchefant and I are close, but has no idea exactly _how_ close.“Well, in any case, Haurchefant and Ser Aymeric are downstairs, if you’re looking for them.”

I thank him and head for the stairs leading down.I haven’t been down here before, and as large as the house is, I’m fairly certain I could get lost without too much effort- but I hear their voices and follow them to a large room off to one side.I peek in to see what’s going on, and smile when I see the two of them.Haurchefant is on one side of the room, Aymeric on the other.

“Come now, surely you haven’t forgotten how to walk,” Haurchefant says, encouraging him forward.

“I haven’t,” Aymeric grumbles, “but you’ll understand that it’s much more _difficult_ now.”He draws a breath and lets it out, then forces himself to take a step forward.I see what Haurchefant is doing- he’s making Aymeric walk without favoring his injured leg.

Haurchefant nods.“I understand, but if you keep up with that limp, I fear you’ll have it for life… and you don’t want that, I’m sure.”

Aymeric shakes his head and takes another step forward, then glances up and sees me watching from the doorway.He smiles, relief appearing on his face- he clearly sees me as a way to get out of this, for the moment.“Look who’s joined us!It’s good to see you out of bed!”

Haurchefant is practically beaming when he sees me, and he hurries over, taking my hand and leading me back to where he’d been standing before.“Are you well enough to be up?” he asks, clearly worried.

I nod.I’m in better shape than Aymeric, at any rate, and I turn to look at him… and with a grin, I lift a finger and beckon him over.

Aymeric huffs.“I’ll be getting no respite from you, I see.”

Haurchefant chuckles, one arm wrapped around my waist.“I think you’ll find our dear friend to be a harsher taskmaster than I,” he teases.

I lean against him and look at Aymeric with a smile.“Don’t give up,” I say softly.“I know it hurts badly, but… you need to be at full strength.”

Aymeric smiles back, though there’s still a look of pain in his eyes.“Thank you.It does hurt, but I fear you’re both right- if I don’t do this now, there’ll be no doing it later.”He shook his head.“I won’t be making it back to the Congregation tonight or perhaps even tomorrow, so I may as well use my time wisely.”

That reminds me of the blizzard going on outside and I look up at Haurchefant, telling him what I’d seen from my window.He nods, then looks at Aymeric again with a smile and a shrug.

“That’s one reason we had to act to save Aymeric as quickly as we did, and why the Archbishop was undoubtedly in an even bigger hurry,” he says.“My father warned me that the storm was coming, but I already knew.When one grows up in a place like this, it becomes easy to detect the change in the air.”

Aymeric nods.“Having grown up in the Brume, I, too, find it easy to tell when poor weather is coming.”He grimaces and takes a step forward, then speaks again.“I will see him pay for his crimes, by the Fury!”

I look up at Haurchefant again, who looks down at me with a worried expression, and we both look back at Aymeric.I think I’ve said more at any one given time today than I have before, but this is important.“You aren’t angry about what he did to you, are you.”It’s a statement, not a question- I can see it in his eyes.

“No.”He pauses, then sighs and takes another step, drawing a sharp breath as he does.“Perhaps a little.The anger comes from his lack of faith in our people to conduct themselves appropriately.”He glances at Haurchefant, then sighs and spreads his hands helplessly.“He doesn’t publicly acknowledge me, though he does so in private.To him, I am another pawn on the game board, and that isn’t going to change… but, I appreciate the concern both of you have shown.”He smiles and shrugs.“I find it far better to choose those whom I consider family, as the one I was born to, my mother aside, cared precious little for what would become of me.”

Haurchefant smiles warmly.He and I had discussed this once, what feels like years ago- it was really only a handful of months at most, I think.“The family you choose is far less likely to do you harm in any way,” he agrees.

I nod.I can understand that.I look up at Haurchefant again and see him smiling down at me, and I blush just a bit, turning my attention back to Aymeric.I wonder how long it will be until everyone knows… though after that horrible few moments, I don’t think I care.In fact, I think I’d prefer it.He’s _mine_ , and I’m not letting go, not even to death itself.

“As for the Heaven’s Ward,” Aymeric continued, his voice hardening, “they have _much_ to answer for to me personally.”

I certainly agree with that sentiment.I’ll never forget the face of the man who nearly killed Haurchefant.My expression darkens and my hands clench into fists at the very thought of him- it’s a primal, physical reaction that I can’t control.I want him _dead_ , and I will see it happen by my own hands.

“Indeed,” Haurchefant says, then makes a tsking sound and crosses his arms.“However, that won’t happen if you can’t cross the room on your own, hmm?”

Aymeric blinks, then sighs and smiles, shaking his head.“Very well, my friend, I’ll get back to work.”

Later that night I find I can’t sleep.I sigh up at the ceiling and get out of bed, deciding to go see what Haurchefant is doing.He’d been deep in conversation with his father when I’d gone upstairs to rest a bit, and I hadn’t wanted to disturb him.Count Edmond’s relief at his son’s safety had made me smile tearfully, and I wasn’t about to interfere in any time the two had to share.Aside from that, I wonder if Haurchefant has told him about us… I wonder if he will.I don’t know that I’m exactly suitor material, when all is said and done, especially not for the son of a wealthy, powerful house.

I knock lightly on the door to his room, hoping he won’t be asleep himself, yet- and when he calls for me to come in, I smile and push the door open just enough to slip inside, and then close it behind me.

He is standing in the corner of his room holding his chainmail shirt- the one that now has a jagged hole in it- and he quickly puts it down and smiles when he sees me, crossing the room and pulling me into a tight hug.“I’m glad you came,” he murmurs.“I thought you’d already gone to sleep, and I was loathe to bother you.”

I shake my head, relaxing in his arms and holding him tight.My gaze goes past him and to the armor he’d put down when I came in, and my stomach clenches into a knot- so I close my eyes and bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in deeply.

“Shh,” he says quietly, holding me tighter in response.“It’s all right, my dear.I was just looking at it to see if it can be repaired… and alas, it seems like it’s better left alone.”He draws back and winks, silvery hair falling into his eyes a bit.“Besides, this is good news!I’ve been meaning to get a new set of armor for a little while now, but I kept putting it off.”

Leave it to him to see the good even in something like that.I sigh a little, but smile and reach up to lightly touch his cheek.I’m just glad he’s well… the rest doesn’t matter so much.Still, the sight of that armor makes me feel anxious and cold all over, and I turn my face into his shoulder again to avoid seeing it.

“You’re shaking,” he says softly.“Come, rest with me awhile… nobody will disturb us.”He leads me to his bed and pulls the blankets back, and I obediently slip between them.He does so as well, and I press against his side, closing my eyes tight.

No matter what I do, I can’t stop seeing it- his shield breaking, him flying backwards, the hot blood that splattered on my skin.I haven’t seen my robes since waking, and assume Tataru is furiously working to remove the stains… and if she can’t, I’ll burn them and get a new set.I can’t bear to even think of it.

A thought occurs to me, then, and I close my eyes tight before drawing back and sitting up.He blinks up at me, curious, and I hesitate before reaching out to tug his tunic up.I have more scars than I can count, personally, and they don’t bother me… but I make a quiet, grief-filled sound when I see the one on his chest.I’d hoped there would be nothing, I’d hoped that when I healed him that would have been enough, but… it wasn’t, and that is devastating.

“I rather like it,” he muses, and I look at him in shock.He smiles and puts his arms over his head, relaxing.“It’s visible proof- the kind I’ll always have- of your love for me.How can I not treasure it, seeing it that way?”

My jaw drops, and he laughs.

“Does that honestly surprise you?”He chuckles and reaches up, drawing me down over him and giving me a long, warm kiss.

Everything is a little fuzzy when the kiss breaks, but as I stare down into his sky blue eyes, I suppose that no, I’m not surprised at all.I sigh softly and smile a little, nudging my nose against his.If he didn’t always see the good in things, he wouldn’t be Haurchefant, and I wouldn’t love him like I do.

“It’s left me with no lasting harm,” he murmurs, “and so I can’t help but treasure it.I saved your life, and you saved mine.To me, there is no greater expression of the love we share.”

So long as he’s happy, I suppose I should be as well.I nod and settle down right where I am, and he loops his arms around my waist, holding me gently.I don’t think of much for a little while until another thought hits me and I push myself up to look down at him.From the way he’s speaking, it’s like he considers it a symbol of engagement or something along those lines.

He grins.“Isn’t it?” he asks teasingly.“I suppose jewelry is all well and good for some, but we are both warriors.I’ve no need for frivolous things, and I don’t think you do either… so in my mind, this is perfect.”

My eyes widen, but when he laughs and hugs me I sigh and shake my head, settling back down.I would rather have given him some sort of jewelry, and I grumble about it, making him laugh again.

“Well, you still can, if it suits you!I wouldn’t refuse anything you offered.”He seems very amused by all of this, and when I peer up at him with a disbelieving look, he winks again.

I feel like my face is on fire, and I bury it against his neck.His laughter is something I love to hear, though, and I smile just a little as he hugs me tight.I don’t know the first thing about courting someone, as it happens.

He gently trails his fingers through my hair.“There’s not much to know,” he admits.“It’s fairly simple, though it has been quite some time since I courted anyone… likely before I became serious about knighthood, I think.It just didn’t ever occur to me to be serious about that sort of thing, and I’m very lucky to be in a position where I don’t have to.”He pauses, and I peer up at him to see him smiling softly, eyes closed.“Then I met you,” he continues, “and I started to care very much about being serious about that sort of thing.”

I smile.It hadn’t ever occurred to me either- in fact, it didn’t really occur to me with him until after the first couple of times he invited me to his chamber.I rather thought the way he acted was just the way he was, at least until I got to know him better- and, honestly, until I learned more about him thanks to his soldiers at Camp Dragonhead.My smile fades slowly when I think about the fact that I’ll have to leave again, and likely very soon, to follow the Archbishop… and we’ll be parted again.

“I think not,” he says firmly, and I push myself up to look down at him in astonishment.He shakes his head, looking straight into my eyes.“I’m coming with you, and that’s that.I’ve had my fill of sitting on the sidelines and watching you go into battle alone.”I start to protest and he lifts a finger, gently settling it over my lips and silencing me.“I nearly saw you die,” he says, his voice low and fierce.“I know the lengths to which I would go to protect you- the same lengths you went to save me.I am _not_ staying behind.”

I want to argue.I _should_ argue.He’s far safer in Foundation or at Camp Dragonhead, serving his family and his homeland, than fighting by my side.That doesn’t tend to end well for most, and the thought of losing him makes me sick.I shake my head weakly, but I know this isn’t something I’ll win.He just keeps looking at me, and I finally break down.   It hadn't occurred to me, though it likely should have, that had he not made it in time to jump in front of me, it would have been me who took that bolt of lightning to the chest- and he doesn't have the ability to heal like I do.  It would have been him holding me as I died, not the other way around.  “Swear to me you will stay with Alphinaud when I tell you to,” I say firmly.“I have the blessing of the Light- I am protected in ways you aren’t, can _never_ be.”

He nods.“I will,” he promises.

I still don’t like it, but I sigh and nod, resting my forehead against his.Love is a liability, I think, but it is also a strength… and as he holds me close, I realize that I’m going to have to start seeing it that way- otherwise, I risk losing it, and that’s not something I can accept.I’ll figure out how to move forward this way, and I’ll let him make me stronger.He’s strong and capable, and adding his strength to mine will be a good thing.

I pray that to be the case.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit more fluff/talking/etc before I figure out how to make this into something more interesting. :D;; I like how the title draws a comparison between Aymeric literally relearning how to walk and the WoL learning how to let go a little and trust in someone else. I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Powder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter full of fluff, because I really needed that after working on Ashes for the past week. Enjoy!!

It’s been a week or so now since I finished Bismarck off, and I’ve needed some time to recuperate after the Ascian attack I suffered immediately after.I’m feeling better, really, and there’s still a great deal to be done- and so amidst protest from Haurchefant and Alphinaud, I am up and ready to continue the hunt.Now that the Archbishop has taken the key and entry into Azys Lla is impossible- at least for the moment- there are other avenues we have to pursue.

First, however, Haurchefant has to check in at Camp Dragonhead, and I amicably go with him.I like it there, in all honesty… it settles my mind, helps me relax.I’m always glad to help out with whatever is needed, and once Haurchefant realizes I’m serious about doing so he will surely give in.

It’s been an hour that he’s been doing paperwork, and I’ve been sitting across from him, willing him to look up and meet my eyes.It’s amazing he can concentrate at all, really, and the corners of my mouth quirk in a smile.So it’s to be a battle of wills, I see… I’m not one to back down from such a challenge.I settle in and wait.I am very, very patient- and also used to getting my way.He’ll either tell me what I can do to help or I’ll go ask one of the guards and do it anyway, and I think he knows that.

Finally he lowers the report he’s been reading and meets my gaze, then gives a long-suffering sigh.“You, my dear, are as immovable as a stone statue,” he says.

I smile.I’m much more persuasive than the average stone statue as well.

“You want to help, I take it.”When I nod, he sighs and tosses the report down onto the pile he’d been working on and sits back in his chair.“Very well.As usual, we find ourselves low on supplies- medicine, this time.Still, there are _many_ I can send instead-“

I am up and out of my chair, halfway to the door, before he even finishes his sentence.If Camp Dragonhead is to be a home to me, it’s important I work to earn my keep, even during the times I’m not there- which, I think, will be far more frequent than the times I _am._

“Do be careful!” he calls, sounding a little worried.

Careful.I glance over my shoulder and smile at him, then head out into the cold.I’m _always_ careful.

Not an hour later I’m looking in dismay up the side of a cliff where my prize awaits.Getting up there is going to prove challenging.I look around, then sigh in relief- at least there aren’t any creatures lurking nearby that are going to ruin my plans… nor are there people to see in the event this doesn’t go well.

It is with great determination that I begin to climb, and just when I think I’m going to make it, my grip slips.I gasp and cling tighter, but it’s no use- I fall back down into the snow with a grunt, and I huff as I stare up at the sky- and at the herbs I need to reach.

He could have mentioned, I think sourly, that the herbs grew on the cliffs and not along the riverbeds or somewhere easy to reach.This must be his payback for me sitting and staring at him for the better part of an hour and a half.I pause, then sigh and smile before hauling myself up out of the snow.That’s all right… two can play this game.I’ll just come back with so much of this herb that they won’t run out for weeks.

It’s three more tumbles into the snow before I finally manage to haul myself up onto the ledge where the herb grows, and I pluck it with a feeling of triumph.I hum to myself as I tuck it safely into my pouch, then look around for more.I’m a little cold, but none the worse for wear, and I smile to myself as I continue to climb.

I hear a voice calling my name a little while later and peer down curiously.I realize, then, that the sun has set and twilight has taken over.I peer up at the sky, which is slowly starting to brighten with stars, and look back down with a smile and a wave.

“My dear, I admire your perseverance, but you’ve been out here nearly three hours!”Haurchefant pauses, then shakes his head.“How did you manage to get up there?”

I shrug.I’d climbed, of course!It’s not like falling is particularly dangerous, not with all the snow piled up at the bottom, and what minor injuries I’d taken were handled with a quick prayer to the Light.I grin down at him and hold up my pouch, which is now overflowing with the herbs he’d sent me for.

He sighs, then smiles and spreads his hands in a shrug.“So long as you’re well, the herbs are an added bonus.Come, let’s get back to Dragonhead before the light fully disappears.”

I nod and begin my descent- carefully, of course- but it seems inevitable that I’ll lose my grip and slip once again.When that happens I hear him yell my name, and I can’t help but smile… and I tumble down into his arms, sending us both sprawling in the snow.

I push myself up and look down at him in concern.He looks perfectly fine, if not a little exasperated, and the expression is so endearing that I can’t help but kiss the tip of his nose.He blinks up at me and I grin, then do it again just to see him blush.

He chuckles softly and drapes his arms around my waist.“What ever am I going to do with you?” he murmurs.

I can think of several things, and I hum softly to myself.More than anything I’m just glad he’s here at all- not much can drag my mood down, not even losing the key to Azys Lla to the Archbishop.So we’ll have to work harder to get in… that’s fine.None of us are strangers to hard work.Plus, I think, having him there on the airship while I’d battled the primal encouraged me along- I draw strength from him.

It is rapidly getting colder, and I move away when I realize he’s shivering.I stand and hold my hand out to him and he takes it, and I haul him up out of the snow.He hugs me quickly and then gestures for me to follow him back to his chocobo.“Let’s get inside before we freeze,” he says, and I find myself agreeing fervently.

Once we return to the camp, I triumphantly present the herbs to the healers.They are thrilled to see them, and hearing that the delivery will help cure a fever that had spiked while I was gone makes me forget about the cold.I am glad, more than anything, that my work has paid off.

I’m a little puzzled as we walk back inside, though, at the fact that I’m starting to hurt.I frown and put my hand to my side, then shake my head ruefully.I must have fallen too many times, I think, and now that I’m warming up, my muscles are beginning to protest in earnest.I quickly move my hand away and hope that Haurchefant hadn’t seen, but no such luck- I’m caught.

He hangs his heavy cloak by the door and I do the same, then he turns to me and frowns, crossing his arms.“And now, the only place for you is a hot bath to soak off all those tumbles you took, as I’m guessing the one at the end wasn’t the only.”

I smile sheepishly and hold up eight fingers- one for each of the falls I’d taken.

The look of exasperation returns and I can’t help but grin, and I trail after him to the bath house.There’s a hot spring directly under Camp Dragonhead, and I am very much looking forward to sinking into it up to my chin and staying there for awhile.For all that he has known me to push forward through whatever challenge is ahead of me, I don’t know if he knew the extent of it- and I’m glad he has this opportunity.I am very stubborn, and I don’t always know when to quit.My grin fades a little as I wonder if that bothers him… if, perhaps, he’s reconsidering everything.

He helps me out of my armor and then turns away while I undress and sink into the bath, and once he’s removed his and is in the soft clothes beneath, he sits down on one of the nearby chairs.“You never fail to amaze me, you know,” he finally says softly.“Until now all I knew of your heroics was what I heard, but seeing it with mine own eyes is quite a different experience.”

I turn and rest my arms on the edge of the tubs, setting my chin on them and looking at him calmly.I can’t let him know how worried I suddenly am, because if he wants to go… all I _should_ do is set him free.I just don’t know if I’m strong enough.

“I wondered, as I watched you battling that primal, if I really was strong enough to stay and do nothing,” he continues.“And when the Ascian appeared… I honestly thought- we all did- that we were going to watch you die.”He sighs and slumps a bit, resting his arms on his knees, and then looks at me again with a faint smile.“And here you are, less than a week later, staring me down with the utmost determination to be of use- and you go climbing the cliffs without a second thought.”

I smile hesitantly.That seems like a good thing… right?

Unless it isn’t.Unless what he’s saying is that I push myself too hard and he can’t stand it.

I sink further into the water, now peering at him over my arms with the rest of my face hidden.

Suddenly he stands up, and surprised, I sit back- and he reaches into the water and carefully pulls me out, then wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.I close my eyes and smile, all the tension draining out of me, and I cling to him and bury my face in his neck.

“How is it,” he asks, his voice shaking a little, “that I find myself more and more in love with you with each day that goes by?”

I hug him tighter as my smile widens.I don’t know, but I think it’s probably the same reason _I_ fall more in love with _him_ with every passing day.

After a moment he gently lowers me back into the water.His clothes are soaked, but he doesn’t seem to notice- or care.I finally reach up and tug on his hand, catching his attention again, and he smiles briefly before undressing and climbing into the water with me.I am not worried about us being disturbed… as I recall, he’d locked the door after us, and even if he hadn’t, I’m not ashamed.After everything, after nearly losing him, I couldn’t care less who knows.I’d had a great deal of time to think about that, and I’ve decided it’s just not important.

I lean against him and he wraps his arm around me, and I take his other hand in mine, lacing our fingers together.“I think,” he says quietly, “once this business with the Archbishop is finished… that I want to tell my father about you- about us.”

That surprises me, and I look at him curiously… then smile and rest my head against his shoulder.He seems to have reached the same conclusion I have, and that’s very reassuring.

He looks down at me and smiles a little.“I suppose, first, that I should ask your permission to court you.”

I raise an eyebrow at him.I’m fairly certain we’ve moved far beyond that particular detail… but I remember the conversation we’d had shortly before leaving for the Sea of Clouds and I smile, reaching up and lightly touching the scar on his chest.

His smile brightens, and for the first time that afternoon, he truly looks like himself.“You’re right,” he says with a wink, “I already have this, so what more do I need?”He turns to face me and we are nose to nose.“I already have _you_ , so… what more is there?”

I smile softly at him… and then, unable to resist, I lean up and kiss him on the nose again.That makes him laugh, and I laugh as well.It’s hard, I think, to have an idea of what someone does and then to see it firsthand, especially when it’s dangerous and painful- but the two of us will continue onward.His understanding of me will only deepen from here, and I’m very much looking forward to that.

 


	4. A Cold And Broken Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An overheard conversation leads to more alcohol than is likely a wise decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit content (at the end), so please be aware!

Somehow, I think absently, I hadn’t expected to make it this far.I’d thought for certain when I saw Thordan kill Lahabrea as though he were nothing that I’d be next… but I’d defeated him, him and all of his Heaven’s Ward.I’d flown back to Foundation on the back of Midgardsormr and borne witness to Aymeric’s vow that the people of Ishgard would atone for their wrongs, and I’d watched as first confusion- and then celebration- spread through the city.There were feasts everywhere, among the high houses and the low, and yet I’d kept my distance.

Now, Aymeric is signing Ishgard into the Eorzean Alliance, but I’m not present… instead, I’m with Haurchefant in Fortemps Manor, laying quietly with him after our own private celebration- which, I think with a faint grin, had started sometime the evening prior and extended clear through the night and into the mid-morning.It’s no small wonder that neither of us feel like leaving the room, much less the bed.I’m thoroughly, wonderfully exhausted… and yet part of me isn’t sure how to feel, what to think, with Estinien gone.There’s nothing I can do about that immediately, however, so I return my thoughts to the man laying next to me and smile, running my hand down his bare arm.

“Mm,” he murmurs, opening his eyes a bit to peer at me.“You’re still awake?”

I move over him as he rolls onto his back, and I kiss him softly.I should be asleep, I think, but as tired as I am, I’d rather not miss any of this.As much as we’ve been through, as far as we’ve come, all I want right now is to savor every moment I have with him.He lifts his hands to cup my face, then moves one to the back of my neck as the other moves down to rest on my shoulder.

He chuckles softly against my mouth.“I have clearly not done my job properly,” he says teasingly.“As thorough as I’ve been, I should think you’d be asleep for the next two days, my dear.”

I grin down at him.I never, ever thought I’d find myself in love with anyone, much less as much as I am with him, and the moments we get together are few and far between.I don’t like to squander them.It is, however, probably rather scandalous that we aren’t at the treaty signing ceremony, and when I point that out to him, he laughs.

“Yes, undoubtedly,” he agrees, but from the way he’s grinning back I can tell that he doesn’t care in the least.“Everyone in Ishgard is desperate to get a glimpse of their beloved hero… but right now, you’re all mine.”

My smile softens.All I want is to be his.I kiss him again, then settle down on top of him, resting my head on his shoulder.He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, and in this perfect moment, all is right with the world.

After a bit, he lifts a hand to stroke my hair.“Truly, though… are you well?”

I tip my head up to look at him, and I nod.All else aside, I’m fine… tired, but fine.I’m mostly just happy to be right where I am.I scoot up a bit and nose at his jaw, then give him a soft kiss.After everything else, all I want is time to spend with him.

“I should be most honored,” he murmurs.“Given that you consider Camp Dragonhead your home… we can return there whenever you like.”

That sounds lovely.With nothing immediate ahead of me- there’s still much to do, of course, but no clear course of action- I’m going to enjoy resting and making myself useful.The people of Camp Dragonhead have welcomed me warmly, and I intend on making them glad of my presence.

A knock at the door nearly has me pasted to the ceiling and I look at him, alarmed, before moving away so he can rise.He grumbles and forces himself up, pushing his hands through his hair and reaching for his trousers.I hesitate, wondering if I should hide… and I decide to do so, not because I’m ashamed of being here, but because we haven’t really discussed what will happen if people find out about us.It’s true that I’ve quit caring, but that doesn’t mean going in blindly without a plan is a wise decision.I slip off of the bed and onto the plush carpet, hiding there between it and the wall.

He opens the door, and when he speaks, he sounds vaguely annoyed.“Yes?” he asks.

“Ah, forgive me, my lord,” one of the stewards says.“I didn’t realize you were sleeping.Your father wishes to speak with you.”

Haurchefant sighs.“Tell him I will attend him anon,” he replies firmly.“I’d like to wake up a little and make myself presentable.”

“Very good,” the steward replies.

I hear the door close and the bolt slide home and I slowly peek up over the bed.It certainly is later than a decent hour to be up and about, though after our ordeal, I’ve no doubt that had we actually gotten around to sleeping, we might still be doing so.I feel my face heat, regardless.

He looks over at me and chuckles.“Come out, darling,” he coaxes.“Don’t fret.There’s a bath attached to this room, and we’ve plenty of time to clean up.”He walks over to the bed and sits on it, watching as I rise and settle back on the mattress.“And I cannot say with any shred of truth that I’m not looking forward to the opportunity,” he murmurs, making my blush deepen.Even after all this time and all we’ve shared, he can still do that with hardly any effort at all… which is one of the many things that have endeared him to me.I pause, then decide to tease him back, commenting on our long night- and morning, and wondering if he has any stamina left.

That makes him smirk and he rises, quickly scooping me into his arms and making me yelp.“Dear me, that _does_ sound like a challenge,” he says- and we both laugh as he carries me into the bathroom and closes the door firmly behind us.

Once Haurchefant has gone to meet his father, I find myself at loose ends and wonder what I should do next.A nap sounds incredibly appealing, and I do have my room at my disposal, but I’m too wound up for that.I wonder if there’s a library here, like Haurchefant’s at Camp Dragonhead- and I think that surely there must be, in a spectacular home like this… especially as well-educated as Count Edmond is.I decide to see if I can find it on my own, not wanting to bother the servants, who are busy preparing for the night’s feast.They’re in a tizzy because Aymeric will be joining us, which makes me smile- I’m mostly certain that Aymeric would rather bow out of the limelight and just hide for the duration.His dedication to his duty is admirable, but he doesn’t strike me as a man who can withstand days upon days of being in the spotlight.

As I explore, I realize that Fortemps Manor is quite a bit larger than I’d realized.With most everyone out celebrating or downstairs preparing, it seems very quiet… and I’ve never truly had the time to look around.I’m sure nobody will mind, and if I run into anyone or inadvertently get in the way, I’ll just tell them the truth- I’m bored and I need something to do.

My wanderings take me into a hallway along the side of the house that’s perpendicular to the one where Haurchefant’s room is, and I’m not paying attention to much until I hear voices- specifically, _his_ voice.I blink and stop outside a closed door, and though I tell myself I should move on, my curiosity gets the better of me.Part of me wonders if he’s going to tell his father about us now… and most of me wonders, if he reacts poorly, how quickly I can get back to Camp Dragonhead.

“… sounds like a bad idea,” Haurchefant was saying, and he sounded aggravated.“Father, you can’t honestly mean…”

“I can and I do,” Edmond replies.“Come, my boy, this is cause for celebration!”Whatever he says next is too quiet for me to hear, though I strain my ears to do so.

There’s quiet murmuring for a moment, then Haurchefant laughs- though he doesn’t sound particularly amused.“And what, pray, is Artoriel going to think?”

I blink, then tilt my head.Perhaps the count has arranged a marriage for his heir and is asking Haurchefant’s opinion on the matter… which would make tonight’s feast, aside from Aymeric’s presence, an even larger affair.I smile to myself.Artoriel is a fine man, a good knight- so long as this pleases him, I’ll be happy for him.

More murmuring, then Haurchefant’s voice raises.“It is _not_ my responsibility, Father!In case you’ve forgotten…”

I frown.That doesn’t sound good… and I move closer to the door frame, hoping to hear a bit better.

“… to be married, and that’s that,” Edmond said firmly.“You are my son, legitimate or not, and you are still a lord of this house.”

_Oh._

My stomach hits the floor, and I feel cold throughout.

Whatever Haurchefant says in response I don’t hear, and for a moment there’s nothing, until he finally gives in.“Very well, Father,” he says in clipped tones.“I make no promises, _but…_ ”

Silence, then the count’s voice.“… a good girl of noble birth,” he says.“I knew I could count on you, my son.”

I stumble backwards and hit the wall behind me, then rush away like the hallway is on fire.I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but my mind is whirling with the worst case scenario.

His father has arranged a marriage for _him_ \- and he said not _one word_ about me, or the fact that we are in love.

Seeking the high ground is unfortunately not an option, as my absence from the banquet would be noticed… but I can- and do- retreat to my room and lock the door securely behind me before slowly sliding down until I am seated on the floor.I rest my arms on my knees and rest my forehead on them, closing my eyes and forcing myself to breathe.Surely there is an explanation, surely he’ll find a way out of this… surely ‘forever’ didn’t mean ‘until my father says otherwise’.

I manage to stay hidden for the rest of the afternoon, but when evening comes, I have to get dressed and join everyone else.I look at the clothes Tataru has prepared for me- they’re lovely, and they look stunning on me, I must admit- but I’m not entirely sure I can bring myself to care.I go through the motions, however, and when I’m done I’m at least somewhat impressed with the person looking back at me from inside the mirror.I’m draped in blue and silver, much like Alphinaud usually is, and the colors go well with my skin tone.I’d kept this outfit hidden from Haurchefant, teasing him by saying he’d see me in them first and not before.

I look in the mirror a few seconds longer, then lift my chin.

I won’t lose him this easily, not to someone who can’t ever hope to understand him as I do.

Not to someone who doesn’t know that he loves to read, that he befriends everyone he meets with genuine warmth and ease, that he’s got the strongest, fiercest heart I’ve ever seen-

\- that he’s _mine._

I march downstairs with that in mind, and in the event my resolve should waver, I pluck a full glass of wine off of a passing servant’s tray and down half of it in one gulp.No- I won’t give up _nearly_ that easily.I’ll just have to prove I’m better for him in each and every way.

The guests have already begun arriving, and I put myself somewhere out of the way so as to avoid attention- but, as Haurchefant had noted that morning, everyone wants a glimpse of me, so hiding isn’t truly possible.I am gracious, but by the time I’ve been cornered for at least half an hour by the same group of nobles, I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.

Luck is on my side, at least in this, when Aymeric catches my eye and quickly intervenes to lead me away.I could have kissed him for it, and likely would have had I finished the glass of wine in my hand.I think it’s my third, but I’m not entirely sure.

Aymeric smiles, amused.“I hope you don’t mind my intrusion, but you looked rather… overwhelmed,” he says.“Come, Lucia and I are trying our best to make ourselves invisible.”

That sounds wonderful, and I follow him over to the corner where he and Lucia have been chatting with Alphinaud and Tataru.

“So here you are!” Tataru says cheerfully.“I wondered if you’d ever get away, and we finally sent Ser Aymeric to rescue you.”

I smile at her- I appreciate it, I truly do.I don’t know how much more of that I could’ve taken.

“You look exhausted,” Lucia observes.“Poor thing, haven’t you had a moment to yourself to rest?”

A moment to myself?Not exactly.I just smile wryly and shrug, and snag another glass of wine, replacing it with my empty one.I don’t even want to think about that, not right now.

Luckily for me, Alphinaud is busy telling a story about our adventures before everything had gone to the weeds, and so everyone listens to him as opposed to focusing on me.I take the time to scan the room, and I spy Haurchefant and his brothers talking with a group of knights who must have been highborn themselves.There are a few women with them as well, but it seems like Emmanellain is doing most of the work to charm them.I sigh and take another drink of wine, then blink when I realize that everything is somewhat soft around the edges.

After this glass, I think, I will slow down.

Aymeric disappears for a few moments, then returns with a mischievous expression and a tray of glasses filled with… something.It’s an amber-colored liquid, which really could have been anything.He makes sure we all have one, and I peer curiously into it before taking a cautious sip.Alphinaud hadn’t been quite as careful and he sputters, then coughs, and Lucia laughs as she hits him on the back.I smile, then laugh as well, and take a longer sip.It’s really quite good, but had I taken a large drink like Alphinaud had, I don’t doubt I’d be in the same position as him.

By the time Aymeric has refilled our glasses for a third round, Alphinaud is unsteady on his feet and Lucia is supporting him with a grin on her face.

“I think our young lord isn’t used to drinking such strong fare,” she says, amused.

That’s all right.I’m certainly not either.I’m about to go for a fourth glass when someone plucks the bottle away from me, and I look back indignantly- and then blink owlishly.Haurchefant has finally extracted himself from the group he’d been with.

“Aymeric!You’re having them drink this?”He grins.“Tell me there’s a clean glass somewhere.”

“Of course,” Aymeric replies, then chuckles and takes Alphinaud’s, handing it to Haurchefant.“Here.He’s not going to be needing this anymore.I fear we’ll be scraping him off the floor if we continue.”

It is very warm in the room, and my vision is swimming.I stand very still and try to act sober, but I’m not entirely sure how many people I’m fooling… and when I offer my glass to Haurchefant, hoping he’ll pour me more, he takes one look at me and shakes his head.

“I think you’ve had more than enough,” he says, his voice warm and amused.“How much _have_ you had?”

Well… there were the four- or was it five?- glasses of wine, and then three glasses of whatever liquid Aymeric’s been offering us.

I smile up at him and hold up nine fingers.That seems about right.Honestly, I can’t even remember why I was upset earlier, not with him looking at me like that.In fact, he looks absolutely _edible._

I stumble just a bit when I try to shift closer to him, and he catches me with a laugh- and I bury my face in his shoulder before tipping my head just a bit to nip at his neck.I miss and get a mouthful of his collar, which is probably for the best… except that what I was trying to do is rather clear to everyone watching.Luckily, enough alcohol has gone around that all anyone does is laugh.

That’s fine with me.I take advantage of the distraction and steal Haurchefant’s glass, draining it in one gulp.

I stay leaning against him as the night wears on, and once the guests start to depart, Aymeric and Lucia bid us a good night- after making sure Alphinaud, who’d fallen asleep, is resting comfortably on a couch.Tataru is leaning back against it, seated on the floor, also sound asleep.I can’t even _remember_ the last time I slept at this point, but I don’t care- sleep is still not on my mind.

“Come, my dear,” Haurchefant says, his words slightly slurred as well.“Let’s get you safely to your room.”

We make it up the stairs and into the darkened hallway, and that’s right about when all the booze decides that pushing him against the wall and kissing him for all to see is an excellent idea.Luckily, the hallway is deserted and not likely to be populated any time soon… and he doesn’t push me away, instead pulling me closer and returning the kiss fervently.

I realize dimly that I haven’t spent enough time looking at Haurchefant in his formal wear- I’d been trying to avoid doing so all night because it hurt to even think about what had transpired.He’s wearing a white collared shirt with a black vest and black trousers, with silver embroidery on the vest and a red silk tie around his neck.He looks stunning, and I mumble something to that effect before my common sense deserts me entirely.

I drop my hands to the laces of his trousers and he gasps, reaching down to bat them away- but I am insistent, and in my drunken stupor, I snap them completely.He says my name, a protest of sorts, but by then I don’t care… and his hands bury themselves in my hair when I fall to my knees, and I take that as the encouragement that it is.He’s already half aroused thanks to the kisses we’d just shared, and his head hits the wall with an audible sound as I set to work with first my hands, then my mouth.

He lets this continue on for a few moments and then makes a strangled sound, carefully hauls me up and carries me the rest of the way to my room.I protest, but once the door is bolted he pushes me to the bed and we both collapse on top of it.

There is not much gentle about what we share, but I don’t care.I want him, _need_ him, and I’m not concerned much with the details of how that happens.This is, I think dimly, the first time he hasn’t treated me at least a little like a glass figurine, and I find I like it very, very much.I’ll be covered in small bruises and marks when the sun rises, but I give as good as I get.He is mine, and I will let this be my proof.I let him rid me of my clothing as I tug at his, and I’m fairly certain that both sets will need minor repairs- in his haste he rips a seam of my tunic, and I yank his shirt open with no regard for the buttons on it.He is still wearing his trousers when I straddle him, caring little for any foreplay or preparation, and it hurts a little- but it’s an exquisite sort of pain that I embrace.He lets out a low, throaty growl and his hands grip my hips hard enough to leave bruises.

I lose myself in it.I don’t care about anything else- not about who might hear us, not about the pain that’s rapidly disappearing into pleasure, not about the consequences this may bring.

_He is mine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha... I have no excuses for myself. :D /flies into the sun
> 
> This chapter was already pushing 4000 words, so I'm going to break it into more. I'll have the next up soon!


	5. Admissions and Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chagrined by their behavior the night before, the WoL admits to Haurchefant what they'd overheard- and Haurchefant goes on a mission for Answers.

When I wake the next morning, it takes a moment to realize why I’m very, very certain that I’m going to die in the next few moments.I struggle up out of the blankets and into the washroom before I’m violently ill, and the silence from the room outside tells me that I am alone… which, I think glumly, perhaps I deserve.I don’t remember a great deal about the night before, but I clearly remember pleasuring him where anyone could have found us- and the soreness I feel all over tells me about the rest.I’ve never acted this way toward him… and I can’t blame him for being angry with me over it.

I manage to clean up and lay down on the tile floor.It’s cool and feels good against my feverish skin, and I’m slowly able to relax.I can fix this, I think… maybe.Being in love means seeing all the sides of a person, and he’d surely shown me one I hadn’t seen last night as well, but… maybe it was too much.Maybe I should’ve just let myself pass out, as Alphinaud had.

I’m working myself up into a good fit of self-pity when I hear the door to my room open and close, and a few seconds later, his voice calling my name.I slowly push myself up off the floor when he says my name again, right outside the door, and I tell him he can come in.

He does so and grimaces, hurrying to me and kneeling next to me before rising and carefully lifting me up into his arms, taking me back into the bedroom and settling me on the bed.“My poor darling,” he murmurs.“I should’ve had you drink tea and water before going to sleep.”

I smile wryly.Neither of us were thinking much beyond the moment at the time, and it’s no surprise to me that I’m in the state I’m in.I pause, then look down at the quilt before lifting my eyes to his- and I ask him, in a small voice, if he’s angry with me for how I behaved.

He looks surprised.“Angry?Heavens, no!Why should I be?”He sits next to me and hands me a mug of tea, then wraps an arm around me as I lean against him.“You are… quite enthusiastic when drunk, and I assure you, I am not upset in the least… save for the fact that I may have caused you harm.”He frowns a little and reaches down, brushing his fingers against the bruises on my hips.“I must apologize, my dear.I was-… I got carried away.”

I look up at him in surprise, then shake my head.I’m the one who started it, after all- and when I think about why, my heart sinks.I sigh and take a sip of my tea, wondering if that will ease the pounding in my head- and knowing it’ll do nothing for the pain in my heart.

He chuckles softly as he looks down at himself.“As for me, I look like I’ve been in a tussle with the local wildlife,” he says, amused.“Perhaps a dragonling or two.”

I wince and peer up at him.It’s true, he’s covered with love marks- I am as well, though he’d done a reasonable job of keeping them where they can be hidden by my clothes.The ones on his neck will be there for all to see.I turn red and look down, mumble something about being overly enthusiastic.

“Oh, you were,” he replies, sounding even more amused.“I’ve never seen you act that way in bed, and I would _dearly_ love a repeat of the experience- perhaps with less alcohol on board, however.”He smiles wryly, and I see the pinched look at the corners of his mouth and eyes.He’s not feeling well either, I note.“Your enthusiasm is very much appreciated… though I’m curious as to what brought it on.”

I’m silent.How can I admit that I’d been eavesdropping?It doesn’t become me.Still, I’d done it, and as a result now he bears the marks of our tryst the night before.I pause, then smirk a little. _Surely_ the woman he’ll be meeting in the next day or so will note those and take herself elsewhere.I feel guilty as soon as I think that, though, and I peer up at him from beneath long lashes… and I tell him, haltingly, what I’d overheard.

His expression goes from surprised to horrified to dismayed, and he puts his tea on the bedside table- and mine as well- before folding me into his arms and holding me tight.“That’s why you avoided me at the banquet last night?” he asked softly, and when I nod, he hugs me tighter.“Dear one, if I wed _anyone_ , it shall be you- on that, you have my word.I didn’t tell my father that at the time because he would’ve taken it as me being an argumentative child, not a man who knows very well what- and whom- he wants.”

I nod slightly, feeling ashamed.I should’ve had more faith in him than that, but hearing those words… I was left cold all over.I close my eyes tight and turn my face to press against his neck.His soft, silver hair tickles my skin as he tilts his head toward me and holds me tighter, and I smile just a little as a feeling of awe comes over me.It’s one thing to promise forever in the midst of passion, another entirely to hear him say these words as absolute, sober fact.

“Do you remember, some months back, you were worried that I might want a family of my own one day?”When I nod, he continues, his voice soft and gentle, soothing away all the hurt I’d felt since the previous day.“I told you then that all I wanted was you, because you understood me better than anyone I’d ever known- my devotion to my duty, my people, my homeland.I have to be honest with you, however, in that there’s another reason- the fact that I want nothing to come between us in what time we do have to spend together.My father wants me to marry and have children, but I am firmly against the idea because my heart belongs to you.”He stops when I tip my head up and kiss him, and he smiles when the kiss breaks and continues.“In any case, if I were to sire children, they would grow up in more or less the same fashion I did.They would always be secondary to Artoriel and Emmanellain’s children because I am not trueborn.My father has the best of intentions, but… I am no fool.I don’t want to subject innocent souls to that.”

I bite my lip as a swift ache contracts in my chest, and I reach up to cup his face.He is so much _more_ than the circumstances of his birth, so much more than even his father sees.I kiss him again to soothe away the pain that’s darkened his eyes, and he holds me tight.

“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth.“I am blessed beyond measure to have you by my side.”

This time, when we fall to the soft sheets beneath us, we are gentle and careful with one another- and I can’t help but smile almost the entire time.He loves me, only me- and I love him just the same.Everything else will happen in its course, but what I know in that moment is that the two of us will be inseparable.I make love to him slowly, carefully, as he’s always wont to do for me- and this time, when he holds my hips to steady me, I feel his hands shaking.I lean down and kiss him, cover his body with mine, and when he loses control, it’s my name on his lips… and his on mine when I do the same.

We go downstairs together a little while later, dressed in our usual clothes- given that the ones from the night prior need Tataru’s attention, though the thought makes my face turn scarlet.I may take up the needle myself to avoid the embarrassment.There aren’t many people about yet, which is unusual given the hour, but not unusual given last night’s events.Artoriel is seated at the table in the dining room, clearly nursing a hangover of his own, and he lifts bloodshot eyes- and a hand in greeting- when we come in before putting his head back in it.

Haurchefant chuckles quietly.“I daresay you aren’t the only miserable one this morning has discovered.”

“Good,” Artoriel mutters, rubbing at his eyes.“I’d hate to have been the only one who made a damn fool of myself last night.”

“Not at all, I assure you,” Haurchefant replies, dropping into a chair across from him.I sit down beside him and he gives me a quick smile before looking back at his older half-brother with a little bit of worry.“Is Emmanellain well?”

Artoriel shrugs, keeping his gaze on the table.“Like as not he’s recovering from his evening of skirt-lifting,” he says, and I snort faintly.Artoriel is very much absorbed in his duty, but Emmanellain seems more keen on getting an early start at making an heir… though without a bride, his efforts are going to come to naught.The black-haired young man lifts his gaze to Haurchefant and arches a brow at him.“Given the marks on your neck, it seems you’re in the same position.”

Haurchefant grins and shrugs, and I hope I don’t look anything more than embarrassed for him.I _really_ should have been more cautious.“The difference between Emmanellain and myself is that I’ve no intention of taking the risk of siring a child,” he says with a wink.

“A man, then?Father will love to hear that.”Artoriel shakes his head as Haurchefant bursts out laughing.

“I didn’t say that, either!” he replies, obviously amused.I, on the other hand, am busy contemplating whether or not I can physically sink into the floor and disappear.“However, I do firmly believe that love appears in all forms, and should one turn ones back over a technicality like gender… well, that’s a shame in and of itself, now isn’t it?”

Artoriel makes a sound that may have been an acknowledgement and takes a drink of his tea.“It’s smart in the field, in any case,” he says.“Or so I’m told.”

Haurchefant grins.“Of course,” he replies, and glances at me with a quick wink.He’s successfully diverted the conversation away from his own choice of partner last night, and for that I am very thankful.

Artoriel turns his attention to me, then, and smiles wryly.“You seem to have more sense than all of us.It looks like you didn’t drink to excess.”

I raise an eyebrow, then shake my head.I don’t remember how much I’d had in the end, thanks to Aymeric and his infernal bottle of- whatever that stuff was.My head hurts, at least a little, but I’m feeling far less like I’m about to die.The tea Haurchefant had brought me helped a great deal… that, and making love to him in the morning sunlight.I quickly turn my thoughts from that and tell Artoriel about Aymeric and his liquor, and Artoriel groans faintly and shakes his head.

“Yes, I know what you’re talking about,” he says.“It kicks like a damned mule at first, but once you’re used to it you barely know you’re drinking it.Shame on Ser Aymeric for plying you with such a thing.”

Haurchefant laughs.“Honestly, our dear friend fared far better than poor Master Alphinaud,” he says.“I forget his youth, sometimes, as he presents himself far more like a man than most men grown- and last I saw him he was passed out on one of the couches.”He grins and shakes his head.“None of us fare particularly well after last night.I plan on returning to Camp Dragonhead tonight to join my knights in their celebration there.”

I perk up a bit.That sounds _lovely_.

Artoriel frowns.“Has Father not spoken with you yet?”

Haurchefant plays innocent, and I bite the inside of my cheek.“About what?We’ve spoken several times since my return, but he knows that I must needs return to my duty.I’ve been away with the Warrior of Light for quite some time, and I fear the pile of paperwork that is undoubtedly awaiting my return.”

“You should speak with him again before you make plans to depart.”The eldest son of Count Fortemps eyes Haurchefant critically.“Though something tells me you already know of what I speak and are making plans to get away before he can go through with it.”

“Am I so transparent?”Haurchefant sighs and spreads his hands.“I don’t want to marry, Artoriel- and Father will merely think me a petulant child if I can’t come up with a better argument than that.There are many knights who wed and have children and still manage to do their duty.”

Artoriel shrugs and takes another drink of his tea.“The opportunity is ripe for you to do so regardless,” he says.“Is it her station that bothers you?”

“That she’s the fifth daughter of a minor house bothers me not at all,” Haurchefant replies dryly, though I can tell that he _is_ a bit stung at the slight.

“The fourth,” Artoriel corrects him, then pauses and shakes his head.“Listen, Haurchefant… you may find this a surprise, but I understand- and if you don’t want to wed, I am on your side.”

Haurchefant blinks, then frowns and looks at him warily.“And why is that?” he asks.

Artoriel smiles faintly and shrugs again.“I just am, and that’s all I’ll say.I’ll speak to Father on your behalf if you’re truly determined to live the life of a priest.”

“It’s not that,” Haurchefant mutters.He glances at me, and I realize he’s asking my permission to tell Artoriel- and I suddenly feel like my heart is going to escape my chest.I hesitate just a second, and then nod slowly.He smiles, his entire countenance lighting up, and I relax ever so slightly as he looks back at Artoriel.“My heart belongs to another.”

That surprises him, and Artoriel sits back in his chair, headache apparently forgotten as he regards Haurchefant curiously.“You’ve never mentioned it before,” he finally says.“Does Father know?”

Haurchefant shakes his head slightly.“I haven’t told him yet, no.”He looks at me and smiles warmly, then takes my hand and squeezes it tight… and keeps hold of it.It’s a very nice feeling.

Artoriel doesn’t miss the gesture, and he pinches the bridge of his nose.“This complicates things,” he mutters.

“That, my dear brother, is not my concern.”Haurchefant leans forward, expression suddenly serious.“I am a knight, and my duty comes before all else.That I am bastard-born gives me the unique freedom to choose duty over marriage.I risk Father disowning me, of course, but Ser Aymeric will never stand to see Camp Dragonhead taken from me- and I don’t think Father would go that far.I am willing to take that risk, if I must, to follow my heart and what I know is right.”He looks at me again, pale blue eyes full of warmth, and then looks back at Artoriel.“I am in love with the Warrior of Light, and the warrior with me.There is _no one else_ who could even come close to competing.”

Artoriel massages his temples as he considers Haurchefant’s words.“You’ll have to convince Father of this yourself,” he finally says, shaking his head.“It’s not for me to approve or disapprove… but…” He pauses, then smiles a little.“For what it’s worth, I _am_ happy for you.Both of you.”

Haurchefant smiles happily.“Thank you, Artoriel,” he says sincerely.“In any case, I need time to figure out how I’m going to present this to Father, so with that… I’ve another, closer destination in mind.”He stands and pulls me to my feet with a wink.“Come, my dear!We’re going to visit an old friend of mine.”

I stand, startled, and manage a wave at Artoriel as Haurchefant drags me out of the room and out of the manor entirely.I manage to ask him where we’re going as we paused to put our cloaks and gloves on, but he only winks at me.I sigh and smile- that’s fine… I’ll follow him anywhere.

Luckily we don’t go incredibly far, although we don’t go inside the manor.The steward goes to fetch Haurchefant’s friend, and I suddenly realize where we are and who we’re meeting- this is Lord Francel’s home.I haven’t seen him in quite some time, I realize, and while I’m sure he remembers me, I wonder what Haurchefant wants to talk to him about.

Francel comes out a few moments later, and he smiles when sees Haurchefant waiting for him.“Good morning!” he says cheerfully.“You don’t look half as hungover as I’d expected you might.”

Haurchefant grins.“I’m not entirely sure it’s morning anymore, either,” he points out.“I felt horrific this morning, but now am ready to face the day, so- come!”

Francel blinks.“Where are we going?”

“Anywhere but here,” Haurchefant replies, glancing over his shoulder at Fortemps Manor and then looking back at Francel mischievously.“It’ll be just like it was when we were children, except this time I’ve a mind to go somewhere indoors.”

Francel looks relieved, though the expression doesn’t last long- he quickly hides it with a nod and an amicable smile.This leads me to wonder what, exactly, Haurchefant had dragged him into when they were younger, and I make a note to ask at some point.“Let’s go to the Forgotten Knight, then,” he suggests.

Haurchefant looks vaguely green at that and glances at me, and I feel more or less the same.“I was thinking more along the lines of a quiet restaurant,” he says, and he leads us down to the Jeweled Crozier and from there, into a cafe.We sit down at an out of the way table and order drinks- tea for Haurchefant and Francel, and hot chocolate for me.This, I think, is a very peaceful- and non-alcoholic- alternative, and I am glad for those things.“I need your help, Francel,” he says, clasping his hands in front of himself on the table.

“Of course, anything,” Francel replies, worried.“Is aught amiss?”

“My father wants to marry me off,” Haurchefant says flatly, and Francel’s eyes widen.“I’m not interested, of course, but I’ve no idea how to tell him so without sounding like a petulant child.”He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, then looks at me with a fond smile.“My heart is already taken as it is, and I was planning on telling him this, but he sprung this whole marriage idea on me before I even had a chance to open my mouth.”

Francel’s expression softens.“Full glad am I for you,” he says, “but I don’t envy your position in the least.”He sits back in his chair and thinks the dilemma over.“Have you considered just… being honest?”

Haurchefant sighs.“Of course,” he replies.“However, he’s already arranged a _date_ with this woman, and I can’t get out of it without causing undue trouble.”

Francel tilts his head.“Well,” he says slowly, “it seems to me the safest way of avoiding such a thing would have been for him to discuss it with you prior to making these arrangements.”He brightens, then.“Are you two engaged to marry?”

I turn red and shake my head.It isn’t that I don’t want that, per se, but I’ve no idea how that will go over with anyone, really, save our close friends.Warrior of Light or no, I am still an outsider… and bastard or no, he is a lord of House Fortemps.

“Not exactly,” Haurchefant says as I shake my head.He glances at me and grins, then looks back at Francel.“Perhaps in our own minds, but we’ve made nothing official.I’ve a thought to escape to Camp Dragonhead tonight and find something there that will need my attention for the next few days.”

“So you’re running,” Francel says, shaking his head.“Haurchefant, I hardly think that’s necessary.You are not a child any longer.”

“No,” Haurchefant says softly, “but the fact that I do not truly fit in there has not changed… and this will not make things better.”

Beneath the cover of the table, where nobody can see, I take his hand and lace my fingers through his.He looks at me, a bit surprised, then smiles softly, and I smile back.I hate to see him hurting.

Francel shakes his head and is about to reply when our drinks arrive, and he waits until the waitress is far away before speaking quietly.“If anything, I should think your father would be thrilled at the idea of you wedding the Warrior of Light,” he points out.“There’s no greater hero in the history of Eorzea- and that hero chose _you._ ”

Haurchefant shrugs.“It’s possible that I’m worrying over nothing,” he agrees, “but… unlikely.He’s interested in seeing our family line continue, and that’s not something I have ever wanted.All I’m interested in is doing my duty as a knight of Ishgard and having my beloved by my side.He has Artoriel and Emmanellain to give him full-blooded grandchildren.”

“You should be honest,” Francel urges.“What’s the worst thing that happens?He forbids you from seeing the one you love?You’re a man grown!”

“I know!”Haurchefant sighs and takes a drink of his tea, then sets it down, gesturing widely with his free hand.“That doesn’t change the fact that I still want Father to look upon me kindly and be proud of me and the decisions I’ve made.”

Francel smiles and shakes his head.“And he does,” he says.“Your father has _ever_ loved you, Haurchefant, even when the Countess was trying to chase you away.”

“And thus he thinks he’s doing me a favor,” Haurchefant replies glumly, “and it will seem I’m throwing it back in his face.Truly, marrying _anyone_ of noble blood is an honor for someone who is bastard-born… and I don’t want that held over my head for the rest of my life, either.”

Francel nods and looks at me, then smiles a little once more.“Far better to be seen for the man you are, I presume,” he murmurs, and Haurchefant nods.“Very well- I’ll do what I can for you.Perhaps mine own father can be of some assistance in finding out how and when this was arranged… and why, if need be.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Haurchefant replies, smiling warmly.“I greatly appreciate it… and after this, I’ll certainly owe you one.”

“Don’t mention it,” Francel replies, taking another drink of his tea and winking at us over the rim.“As I recall, I’m the one in the Warrior of Light’s debt- so consider this the least I can do.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the second part of that last chapter - had I not broken it up, it would've been really long. I'm already halfway through the next, but I want to try and churn out another chapter of Ashes before I post it, because I'm thinking after what I'm planning there, a lot of you will want the fluff and the NSFW-ness I have going on. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. It's Only Bad If You're Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warrior of Light finds unexpected aid in the form of Artoriel, Haurchefant's elder brother.
> 
> There is explicit content toward the beginning of this chapter!

As Haurchefant had promised- and threatened- the two of us retreat to Camp Dragonhead for the evening to join his knights there in celebrating Ishgard’s re-entry to the Eorzean alliance.It is, all in all, a very enjoyable evening… though there’s just as much alcohol being passed around as there was the night before at Fortemps Manor.I’m far more careful this time, as is Haurchefant, and by the time we retreat to his chambers we’re only pleasantly tipsy as opposed to stumbling, knee-walking drunk.

I’m still uncertain as to whether or not I’ll be able to live that down.

I sigh happily as he draws me into his arms and gives me a long, warm kiss, and I return it gladly… and as he carefully undresses me, I smile at him and return the favor.

Once we are laying in a hapless tangle of blankets and pillows, with him on his back and me half on top of him, he sighs and runs his fingers through my hair.“Unfortunately, there won’t be any escaping this on a permanent basis,” he says quietly.“I’d had it pictured in my head- how it would go when I told Father about us, I mean… and now it seems that’s all for naught.”

I make a soft, thoughtful sound.Who’s to say, really that he _won’t_ approve?It seems to me like it’s just as possible that he will.

“It’s possible,” Haurchefant admits.“I could be doing all this worrying for absolutely nothing.I prefer being a man of action over one of excessive thought, but ever since he sprung this on me I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything else…” He pauses, then grins.“Save making love to you, of course.”

The sound that escapes me this time is more pleased than anything else.He’s certainly not lacking in that department.

He falls quiet again, then sighs.“I have to meet with her tomorrow, in any case,” he says quietly.“I’m sorry, my love- I don’t think Francel can work fast enough to get me out of it, and much as I hate this, I don’t want to risk offending her family.”

I push myself up onto one arm and study him, and he looks back at me.He is _beautiful,_ but aside from that, he looks pensive and upset- I hate seeing that look on his face.I idly trace patterns on his bare chest with my free hand, which makes him smile just a bit- and I wonder, again, how all of this is supposed to play out.I don’t understand Ishgardian society or their caste system at all- just when I think I’ve got it, something else happens to show me that I don’t at all.

He sees the puzzled expression on my face and smiles gently.“Ask me anything,” he says softly.“Don’t ever think there’s something you can’t say or ask me, my love.”

I hesitate, then shrug a little and tell him the truth- I don’t understand, I think it’s all rubbish, and he- _everyone_ \- should be free to love whom they chose.

“Would that that were the case,” he says softly.“For me it will be, as I will have the final say in this, though I don’t know yet what the cost will be.”

I bite my lip.I don't want him to lose his family over this, not for me… and I know, if it comes down to it, he’ll choose me- and part of him will be crushed.I shift so I am kneeling next to him, giving him my full attention.

He smiles faintly and reaches up, gently tracing the curve of my jaw with his fingertips.“Father has always tried to understand me,” he murmurs, “even when his wife railed at him for it.I want to believe he’ll be happy for me, but in all honesty… my biggest fear is that he- and others- may believe that _I_ am not good enough for _you._ ”

My jaw drops.How could anyone in their right mind ever think something like that?

He laughs softly at the look of shock on my face and trails his fingertips down my neck, over my collarbone.“Does that surprise you?” he asks, and when I nod fervently, he laughs again.“I certainly didn’t think I was, the first time we went to bed together.I was so over-awed by you that I nearly fell apart when first you touched me.That isn’t due to my birth or station, however… it’s due to yours.”

I frown at him.I’m an adventurer, nothing more- I hold no titles, own no land, have nothing to which I am beholden.

“You are Hydaelyn’s chosen,” he reminds me.“Bringer of Light…” His fingertips trail down my chest, and I shiver.“Savior of all.How could anyone be good enough for someone like that?”

I huff at him.He’s more than good enough, and anyway, isn’t it up to me to make that choice?I don’t _want_ anyone else, I want _him._

He smiles warmly at me.“And I can’t tell you how happy I am that you do,” he murmurs.He moves lower yet, ghosting over my stomach- and I lean back instinctively, head tipping back a bit as the fire in me bursts back to life all at once.“You are everyone’s beloved hero…”

I shake my head, my voice coming out as a shaky moan- _yours, only yours._ I can’t believe how wanton I sound, but it’s nothing more than the truth… and when his hand drifts lower still, I jolt as though I’ve never been touched before.I end up leaning over him, one hand braced on his chest, the other on the mattress as he touches me in _just_ the right way.His experience with me has taught him exactly what I like, and the pressure, the speed, it’s all perfect.He is watching me intently, pale blue eyes heated, and I hold his gaze as best I can.My breath is coming in short, sharp pants, and I am moving my hips with his hand, swallowing against a suddenly dry mouth.

His resolve breaks shortly before mine does and he sits up, swiftly taking me by the waist and lifting me up and then into his lap- and his mouth muffles my cry as he eases me down.He holds me tightly against him, and everything overpowers me- the way he smells, the strength of his arms, the soft sounds he makes- I can’t hold on, and I don’t even try.The force of my climax curls my toes and locks my arms around him, and it’s only a few seconds before I feel him find his own release… and I realize, a few breaths later, that he hadn’t kissed me to hide my cry of his name.

I turn red… but at the same time, I don’t care.It doesn’t matter in the face of this perfect moment, the two of us clinging to one another amidst a chaos that nobody else can see, finding a calm together that nobody else can usher in.He quiets the constant storm inside of me, and I steady him.

There is truly nothing more perfect than that.

I turn my head, tip my mouth up to brush against his ear, and whisper how very much I love him… and when he says the same, I realize he is crying- and so am I.

We settle back down in each other’s arms, parting only because we must.He rolls onto his side and holds me as close as he can, and I pull the blankets up more to comfort him than anything else.I shift and urge him onto his back, then move over him, kissing him softly and laying down on top of him, sheltering him with my body.He will feel safer this way, I know, and he wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my hair.

In this moment there is nothing else to say, so we stay quiet… and, eventually, once I hear his breath become slow and even, I smile.I will keep watch over him until the sun rises.

When morning comes I slip away and dress, then hurry downstairs to fetch us something to eat.Luckily nobody does much more than look at me with a smile, and I take the tray back up and carefully close and bolt the door behind me… and then exhale in relief.The walls _are_ stone, I remind myself, and I shake my head as I set the tray on the table by the hearth.He’s rolled onto his stomach and is still asleep, and I smile fondly as I undress and carefully get back into bed.I smile as I study him- he looks so young when he’s sleeping like this, with his hair falling across his face and his arms tucked beneath his pillow.I have a fleeting thought that I’d like to see this _every_ morning… and I refuse to give up on the belief that it is yet possible.

He wakes not fifteen minutes later, drawing a slow breath and letting it out as he opens his eyes- and the smile that curves his lips when he sees me is exquisite.He reaches for me and I immediately tuck myself close, and he gives me a long, gentle kiss.“Good morning, my love,” he whispers.

I smile, and whisper the same back to him.The sunlight filtering in through the window turns his pale skin golden, gives his silver hair a white-gold aura, and I commit this sight to memory.

He breathes in deeply and makes a quiet sound, reaching up to rub his eyes.“You already brought food?” he asks, his voice still husky with sleep.“How long have you been awake, my dear?”

I chuckle softly and sit up.I should be exhausted, I think, but I’m not in the least.I’ll want a nap later in the day, but for now, I am energized.

He watches intently as I stretch in the sunlight, shameless for him as I have never been for _anyone_ … and he grins at me before playfully tackling me back to the mattress- and it’s another little while before the food is even thought of again.

“I can’t imagine a more perfect night- or morning,” he says happily as we settle down on the couch to eat our breakfast, both wrapped in whatever blanket was handy at the time.“I am far more prepared to face today than I was before.”He looks at me and smiles warmly, and I smile back.“I am lucky beyond measure.”

It’s funny how that works- mostly because I feel the exact same.I set into my breakfast eagerly, finding I’ve worked up quite an appetite, and he does as well.I’m not exactly looking forward to going back to Foundation, but I’m no longer dreading it.With any luck, Francel will have figured out a way to get him out of this, and if not, well… I’ll just have to keep a close eye on how things proceed.

We return in the mid-morning, both still holding to the calm we’d found the night before.He looks like he has everything under control, and I smile to myself as we walk into Fortemps Manor- and my smile widens when I see Francel waiting for us.

“There you are,” he says, standing and clasping his hands behind his back.“I was wondering if you’d made good on your promise to escape to Dragonhead and stayed there.”

Haurchefant laughs and claps him on the shoulder.“We did go, but as ever, the dutiful son returns.”He glances around the empty sitting room, then looks at Francel again.“So?”

Francel shakes his head.“I don’t have much,” he says, “but a little bit of background.It seems the house in question wants to rise in import, but the fourth daughter could never hope to marry Artoriel or Emmanellain.Count Edmond sees this as the chance to force the other houses to accept you, Haurchefant- that’s his only motive here, that and to see you happily married.”

“By marrying me to the fourth child?”Haurchefant sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.“I’d be insulted if the whole thing weren’t so ridiculous,” he finally mutters, shaking his head and dropping his hand to his side.

“I’m a fourth child, you know,” Francel says dryly.

Haurchefant can’t help but laugh a little at that.“So you are!Are you suggesting I wed _you_ , then?”

“Halone’s Fury, no!”Francel shakes his head and holds his hands up, and I grin.“I’m not interested in marrying any time soon, and for the record, I highly _doubt_ such a union would give either of our fathers what they’re wanting, which is, in your case, a chance to rise for the girl and a chance for you to be accepted as a true-born would be.”

“I don’t need- or want- to be recognized in such a way,” Haurchefant replies, his voice somewhat grim.“I’ve my own worth far outside my ability to _breed._ ”He sighs again, then smiles and shrugs.“Well, I suppose it’s time to handle this on my own.My thanks, Francel, for finding out what you have.”

Francel nods.“It’s my pleasure to help,” he says.“Good luck, Haurchefant.”

After Francel leaves, I look up at Haurchefant worriedly.He looks back down at me and smiles again, shaking his head.“I do appreciate the thought,” he says quietly, “but I’ve no illusions that marrying someone will magically make everyone accept me.If I’d thought that, I’d have tried as hard as Emmanellain is now.”

I slip my hand into his and give it a gentle squeeze.Marriage wasn’t really something I’d ever considered, honestly… it just seemed so far off when I was young, and even still, it seems very far away- though closer than it had been before meeting him.I feel like I don’t need a ceremony and frivolities to pledge my love to someone.

Haurchefant squeezes my hand in return.“Well,” he says, “there’s not much to do now save getting this over with- and as soon as it’s done, you and I are going to go speak with Father.”

I nod… but somehow, I think, I’d rather be marching off to battle than waiting through this.

The lady and her father arrive shortly after, and I make myself scarce.I’m tempted to climb to the roof, but someone will undoubtedly see me and panic, and so I sigh and skulk to the library where Count Edmond had first told Haurchefant of his plans.I tuck myself into a comfortable looking chair with a book and open it, and stare blankly at the first page.What I _really_ want to be doing right now is eavesdropping, but I don’t know how- or where a convenient place to do so would be without being obvious.

It’s not long until someone else comes into the room, and I look up to see Artoriel watching me curiously.I slowly put the book in my lap, wondering what he wants- and why he’s looking at me like he’s not sure if I’m really _here._

He closes the door and walks over, settling himself in the chair next to mine- the two are separated by a small table, on which I put the book.Just by being here, he has my full attention.“I was surprised when Haurchefant told me about the two of you,” he says slowly, “but when I had time to think about it, I realized it wasn’t surprising at all.He’s always spoken highly of you, and yet I never thought it much more than well-deserved praise for your skills.”

I smile faintly.There’s that, I suppose- and that likely _was_ it, at least until… when?When I think about it, I can’t remember a time when he didn’t occasionally glance at me with a look in his eyes I didn’t fully understand.It must have been after we retrieved the Enterprise… and I didn’t realize I felt the same until my near-miss with death on the Steps of Faith.

Artoriel looks me straight in the eye.“Do you love him?” he asks.

I don’t hesitate.This answer doesn’t require any thought.I meet his gaze and nod.

He smiles.“Good,” he says simply.“That girl could never hope to be a match for Haurchefant, and I’m not saying that just because he’s my brother.The things he’s done, he’s accomplished- she’s too far beneath him… and, she’s a simpering fool.”

I can’t help but grin a little.That’s good news for me, at any rate.

“What I don’t know,” Artoriel continues, “is how Father is going to react to him choosing you instead.There’s clearly nobody better for him, but you’re an outsider… and not nobility, I don’t think.”

I shake my head.I’m just me… and whatever titles or anything else I have are ones I’ve earned through my own hard work.

Artoriel pauses, then stands.“Come,” he says.“I want to show you something.”

I rise and follow Artoriel out of the library, down the stairs and into a sitting room.This room has another door in it off to the side that leads to a smaller room, and once we’re inside, he closes the door and walks to the opposite wall.He pushes a chair out of the way to reveal a much smaller door, and I blink in surprise.

“It’s a shelter of sorts,” Artoriel explains, “but Emmanellain and I- Haurchefant as well- would often use it to, well… _accidentally overhear_ certain things.”

I’m confused for a moment, and then I realize what he’s saying, and I grin slowly.He opens the door and we crawl inside.It’s big enough for us as adults, certainly, but there’s no way we can stand in here.This crawlspace seems to lead all the way around the manor, and he finally stops and sits back, nodding to me to do the same.I do, and I realize that we are right in front of a grate that gives an excellent view into the room beyond- and is hidden from sight by a convenient curtain hanging in front of it.The curtain is sheer, which gives us a good view through it to the occupants of the room.

Artoriel leans over and whispers in my ear.“There’s a table in front of this grate as well- nobody ever thought to look here before, and I highly doubt they will now, so long as we’re careful.”

I nod and settle in to listen.I’m very glad indeed for this opportunity, though I do feel slightly guilty about it… then again, Artoriel seems interested as well, so that makes it seem less intrusive.

As Artoriel had said, the girl is, plainly, a fool.I grimace a little as she chatters on and on about the parties she’s been to, the people she knows, and so forth.Poor Haurchefant doesn’t really get a word in, and when he tries to tell her about Camp Dragonhead or something he’s interested in, she immediately changes the subject back to something she understands- which, for the most part, seems to be how to climb the ladder of society as quickly as possible.

I look at Artoriel and shake my head, and he has a hand over his mouth.His blue eyes are sparkling with laughter.We both vacate our hiding place lest we give ourselves away, and when we emerge in the small sitting room, he sighs and chuckles softly.

“You see what I mean,” he says, and then smiles warmly.“I hope that helps assuage any fears you may have had along the lines of her being better for hm than you are.”

I pause… and then nod, smiling back at him.I suppose I _had_ been a little worried, even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself- I’d thought, deep down, that perhaps this would be better for him.I see now there’s absolutely no way that’s the case.

I’m waiting patiently in my room when Haurchefant manages to escape, and he closes the door quickly behind himself before leaning against it and sighing deeply.“Thank the gods that’s over with,” he mutters, and looks at me with a warm smile.

I rise and walk over to him, clasping his hands and leading him to the couch- with a quick pause to bolt the door.He settles down on it and sighs again, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.I brush my fingertips against the juncture between his neck and shoulder, then immediately slip behind him and begin to work the tension out of his muscles.

He lets out a soft groan and tips his head back.“That feels wonderful,” he murmurs.“Thank you, my dear.I hope you weren’t too troubled while I was gone…”

I chuckle and tell him what Artoriel and I had done, as well as the conversation we’d had, and by the time I’m finished he’s laughing softly.It’s good to hear him laugh- and, I notice he’s relaxing quickly under my hands.

“My, my, I had almost forgotten about that,” he says, amused.“I’m glad Artoriel showed you.What did you think of her, then?”

I lean around and raise an eyebrow at him, and he smiles, pale blue eyes full of warmth and love.What I think is that she’d be better off flinging herself at Emmanellain, as he may actually listen to her… at least long enough to get her out of her clothes.

That makes him laugh again.“You’re not wrong!I fear, however, that as a proper Ishgardian noblewoman, she’s not quite as, ah… _experienced_ as dear Emmanellain.The very thought might make her faint.”

I snort and go back to massaging his shoulders.I don’t want to judge her based on that, but the entire package seems very unappealing- at least to me.It’s probably a good thing I wasn’t consulted on the issue.

“As for me,” Haurchefant continues, turning a bit to face me with a wicked grin, “I prefer someone who knows what they want, and how to get it.More specifically, someone bold enough to kneel for me in a hallway where anyone could see… and someone skilled enough to have me panting within seconds.”

I turn red.I’d _really_ prefer to forget that ever happened… but I like it when he teases me, so I suppose I’m at an impasse with myself.

His grin softens into a smile.“As well, someone with a kind heart who puts everyone else before themselves… someone who always wants to be doing something useful and helping as many as they can.Someone who’s fierce and fearless, with the bravest heart I’ve ever seen.”He reaches up and cups my face, then gives me a long, warm kiss.“Someone,” he murmurs, “who loves me for _me_.”

I make a soft sound and throw my arms around him.I’d thought the very same thing, back when I first realized how he felt- and how I felt- and to hear him say it means a lot.

He falls back on the couch and I settle on top of him, pillowing my head on his shoulder.He loops his arms around me and holds me close, and we both sigh happily.“For now, all is well,” he says quietly.“We’ve absolutely nothing to worry about for the moment.”He lets one hand drop down to the floor and I yawn.A nap sounds _lovely_ , I think, and then I realize he’s holding something up- and I push myself up quickly to see the grin on his face.“Well, I suppose there _is_ one thing.”

That _one thing_ is a box that looks suspiciously like it might hold jewelry.I stare at it, then at him.

He smiles and sits up, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.“We haven’t discussed it, of course, and I realize you still have much on your shoulders, but… consider this a symbol of the promise I made you this morning.”

I slowly take the box and open it.Inside is a silver-gold ring, plain and unassuming- perfect for me, seeing as how there are no gemstones or anything else that could get caught on my gloves.He lifts the ring out and slips it on the third finger of my left hand, then lifts it and kisses my knuckles.I’m not sure if I should cry or hug him or both, and while I’m trying to decide, he smiles at me again.

“If I am ever to wed,” he says softly, “it will be you and none other beside me… and when and if the day comes that you are ready, so shall I be.”

I decide to do both, and he holds me tightly.This, I think, is turning out to be one of the most amazing days of my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. My insomnia has been rough lately. That means you get more chapters and new works, though, so hopefully you've enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


	7. Promises and Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a conversation with Count Edmond, the Warrior of Light is given another task, this one by Lucia.

A couple of hours later, the two of us head downstairs to speak with Count Edmond.I’m very nervous, but Haurchefant seems completely calm and at ease- and that helps calm me, a little.He looks at me with a quick smile.

“Remember,” he murmurs, “a promise is a promise.”

I nod and take his hand, giving it a quick squeeze, before letting go and letting him knock on the door to his father’s study.I just wish I didn’t feel so much like I’d rather be anywhere else.I’m truly afraid that Count Edmond won’t think I’m good enough- or, worse, as Haurchefant had pointed out, he won’t think his son is good enough for _me._

The count calls for us to enter and we do so, and he looks at his son- and then at me- with a fond smile.“Haurchefant,” he says warmly.“Well, how was your afternoon?Did you have the Warrior of Light as a chaperone?”

Haurchefant glances at me and grins.“Not exactly,” he replies, and I have to work to hide a smile of my own.I’d been watching over him, certainly, but likely not in the way the count meant.His grin fades when he looks back at his father, and he shakes his head.“As for how my afternoon was, one step shy of miserable about describes it.I do not foresee anything developing between that girl and myself.”

“There are others, I suppose,” Edmond says slowly, “but, Haurchefant…”

“But nothing, Father,” Haurchefant replies, his voice gentle and respectful.“I understand what you’re trying to do, and believe me, I appreciate it… but marrying someone I don’t love with the misguided hope of rising further in the eyes of people who’ve never accepted me isn’t something I want to do.”

Edmond frowns and glances at me, clearly uncertain as to what he can or should say in front of me, then looks back at Haurchefant.“As we discussed earlier, you do have certain responsibilities as a lord of this house,” he points out.

Haurchefant nods.“I do, and I take them very seriously,” he agrees.“Breeding, however, isn’t among them- that is best left to Artoriel and Emmanellain.I’m sure, should you find a bride for either, that you’ll have a whole swarm of grandchildren waiting for you anon.”He looks at me and smiles warmly, then looks back at his father.“As for me, my path is in a different direction.I’ve always known this, and have somewhat recently become absolutely certain.The truth is, Father, I _am_ in love, and you will see me wed, in time… but my choice of partner remains just that- _mine._ ”

Edmond looks somewhat alarmed and worried, and he shakes his head.“I know you are devoted to the knighthood,” he says, “and far be it from me to dissuade you- the path you walk is a noble one.You are a lord of Ishgard, however, and as such, you cannot be seen to marry beneath your station.”

“I’m not.”Haurchefant grins and takes my hand, then draws me close and wraps his arm around me.I feel like I’m about to burst with anxiety, but being so close to him makes me feel better- it always does.

When Edmond looks at me, wide-eyed, I manage to meet his gaze and nod.The count’s expression goes from shocked to thoughtful, and he looks back at Haurchefant.“I suppose I should have seen this coming,” he finally admits.“I wondered if there was more to your words of praise than I allowed myself to see at the time.”He sighs and looks at me.“I’ve long known about _your_ feelings toward him, but I kept my silence on the matter.No matter what I think, the fact remains that you’re an outsider… and more than that, you fling yourself into harm’s way as often as you can manage.”

I frown a little, but nod slightly.None of those statements are incorrect, when it comes right down to it.

“I find that admirable,” Edmond continues, and I perk up just a touch.“I always have.”He looks at Haurchefant and sighs, spreading his hands helplessly.“I can’t forbid it.This isn’t what I ever imagined for you, but it seems you’ve done far better on your own than with me ushering you along.I wonder if that hasn’t been the case this entire time.”

“I couldn’t have gotten to where I am now if not for your support,” Haurchefant replies earnestly.“What matters the most is that _you_ accept me, and you always have.We’ve no plans to wed any time soon, but someday… I’ve no doubt that we will.”

Edmond nods slowly.“Give me some time to think on this,” he says.“We will also need to figure out what to tell her family.”

Haurchefant smiles and shrugs.“There’s not much to tell.I don’t think she was all that taken with me, either, when all was said and done.”

Given that Haurchefant has interests outside of society and the latest gossip- in fact, given that he couldn’t be any _less_ interested in those topics- I’m not at all surprised.

Edmond smiles back, his expression somewhat wry.“I suppose you can’t win them all over.”He looks at me again, smile fading a little.“Is it truly wise for the Warrior of Light to make such a commitment, I wonder…?”

I blink.I’m not sure if he wants an answer or not.I look up at Haurchefant, who’s smiling gently at me, then back at his father.It may not be wise, but it’s the only course of action I have- I can’t let him go, not knowing that he wants to spend his life with me, not knowing that _I’m_ the one he chose.If I weren’t the Warrior of Light, however, we never would have met… and had our paths crossed, I wonder if he would have noticed me at all.I wonder if I would have cared.We are where we are now because of _who_ and _what_ we are.

As it happens, however, whether or not he wants an answer, I’m going to give him one.I look him in the eye and nod slightly.The Warrior of Light belongs to everyone, but _I_ belong to myself- and I choose to give myself to Haurchefant.There has to be a line between the two, otherwise one of us- the warrior or myself- will simply cease to exist.

Those words restore the count’s smile, and he nods.“Very well,” he says.He looks back at Haurchefant and his smile widens.“I suppose there _is_ still a wedding to plan for, in this case.”

Haurchefant laughs softly and gives me a gentle hug.“Yes,” he agrees, “in time there will be, and you will be the first to know when that time comes.”

I sigh, then lean against Haurchefant and look up at him with a smile.He looks back at me with the same gentle expression he always wears, and we excuse ourselves from the library to return momentarily to my room.

“There,” Haurchefant says once the door is closed, grinning and pulling me close.“There’s nothing more to fear on _that_ front, at least.”He laughs, then, and wraps me in his arms.“You seemed so shocked when he said he always knew about your feelings for me!My poor dear…”

I huff at him.I’d been trying for _his_ sake, mostly.

He smiles and kisses me on the nose.“You’re adorable when you pout,” he says, “and I’ve always treasured the way you look at me, even from that first day we met.”

I pause.There probably hadn’t been much there other than skepticism and weariness, honestly, but he smiles a little and shakes his head.

“Determination,” he says.“That’s always been in your gaze, and it’s what first attracted my attention.”

I smile a little, remembering back to the first day we’d met.I’d had no idea what to think of him, and the feeling had been clearly mutual.He’d been cordial, but he’d kept a close eye on me- he hadn’t trusted me at first sight, nor had I trusted him.That had built over time, and I’d been startled when I realized that with it had come love.I still can’t tell myself, or anyone else, what had caused that to happen… it’s something I saw in him that nobody else has had.

He draws me down onto the couch.“What’s on your mind?” he asks curiously.When I tell him, he laughs.“Dear me, you were such a scruffy little thing,” he teases, and I make a face at him.“Well, you were!Your armor was pieced together and you looked… well, as you said, you looked weary.That improved much after a few days at Camp Dragonhead- I daresay you needed the rest.”

That hadn’t stopped him from inviting me to his bed, I point out, and he grins roguishly.

“Of course not.You were still the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.”He kisses me soundly and chuckles.“After setting eyes on you, I couldn’t stoop to seducing anyone else.I had to have you… and now that I do, I am surely the luckiest man in all of Eorzea.”

I can’t help but smile at that and nestle against his side, and he wraps his arm around me.I hum softly, wondering about the future and what it will hold for us- I know my job is certainly not finished, and I wonder if that bothers him.

“Not at all,” he replies.“You have your duty and I have mine.Having seen firsthand what you do… I’ve no doubt at all that you are needed by Eorzea far more than you are needed by me.”I open my mouth to protest, and he smiles and taps me gently on the nose.“You are the light of hope, my dear… and so long as people have fear in their hearts, they will need you.I am perfectly content to remain at Camp Dragonhead and pray for your safety, and I will thoroughly enjoy having you there when you return home… and perhaps, on occasion, I will journey with you.”

I think that over, then smile a little and kiss him on the nose- and then I tease him about being a good housewife while I’m gone.

His laughter is worth everything to me.

That evening, we join Aymeric and the others for dinner, and the atmosphere is quite festive.I keep a suspicious eye on Aymeric, however, who gives me an innocent smile and swears he has no liquor up his sleeves this time.I’m not sure I believe him.It’s very good to see him smiling and happy, however, and I’m glad of the opportunity.

Lucia pulls me aside a little while after dinner is done, while Aymeric is deep in conversation with Haurchefant about something that had occurred in Coerthas a couple weeks back.“I need your help with something,” she admits.“I hope it’s not too much to ask.”

I smile at her and shake my head- of course it’s not too much.I like Lucia a great deal.

She looks relieved.“Ser Aymeric’s birthday is in two days,” she says, glancing over to make sure said knight is still being kept busy.“He doesn’t like to bring undue attention to himself, but… I’d still like to have a small party for him, perhaps here at the Congregation.Do you think you could help arrange it?”

Tataru, who’s come up next to us, immediately claps her hands together.“A party- that sounds wonderful!”She looks up at me, beaming.“You’ll let me help, won’t you?”

I nod.I know nothing at all about parties, and I’m glad to have her help… plus, she looks so happy that I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to say no even if I did know what I was doing.

“This will be fantastic!”Tataru looks up at Lucia and puts her hands behind her back.“What does Ser Aymeric like, then?”

Lucia pauses.“Well,” she says slowly, “the truth is… he loves pastries, but he very rarely allows himself to eat them.He’s very serious about keeping himself in top form.”She glances at me and grins.“Personally, I think a pastry is worth eating now and then, and I’m hardly fat and out of shape.”

I grin.I like to indulge in sweet things too, sometimes… though I can blame a lot of that on Haurchefant, who’s constantly giving me hot chocolate.The man’s given me a taste for it that I haven’t been able to rid myself of.I pause, then ask her what kind Aymeric likes best.It’s been a long time since I’ve made anything, but I’d like to try- and Camp Dragonhead is the perfect place to experiment without being caught.I’ll have plenty of eager tasters, in addition.

Lucia chuckles.“He’ll eat anything,” she says, amused.“Most especially if it has berries or fruit in it.”

I smile- I know just the thing.I nod again and agree to help, and set about making a mental list for what I’ll need.Meanwhile, Tataru talks to Lucia about what sort of decorations we might end up using, and I let myself drift over to Haurchefant and Aymeric to see what they’re talking about.

“… and so I had to meet with her- oh, hello, my dear!”Haurchefant smiles and puts his arm around me.“I was just telling Aymeric about what I had to suffer through today.”

Aymeric looks at me sympathetically.“I can only imagine it was unpleasant for you as well,” he says.

I grimace a little.She’d been pretty enough, but rather lacking in more or less anything that would attract Haurchefant’s eye.

Haurchefant chuckles quietly.“Well, also, she isn’t you,” he points out.He looks at Aymeric and shrugs helplessly.“So, I had to meet with her in order to let Father know I was at least humoring the idea.As it happens, Artoriel remembered a place that we used when we were young to eavesdrop on whomever we chose, and so I was in good hands the whole time.”He winks at me.“Father was disappointed that I wasn’t interested, I think, but… after speaking with him, he seems content with the idea that I won’t be marrying any time soon.”

“I’m sure that’s a relief,” Aymeric says, shaking his head.“I’ve heard enough of that, myself… and I’ve no family to speak of save you and Estinien, and neither of you have ever brought it up.”

“It’s good to have like-minded people around,” Haurchefant agrees with a nod, pausing to take a drink of his wine.“So, another crisis averted- I can safely return to Camp Dragonhead and there do my duty without constantly looking over my shoulder to see if Father has set another noblewoman on me.”

Aymeric laughs.“I daresay you never had trouble attracting them before,” he replies.“I suppose it’s different when marriage becomes part of the equation.”

“It’s different when it’s your own choice, however- I’ve spent most of my life having other people make decisions for me, and now that I’m in a position to make my own, I endeavor to as much as I can.”Haurchefant gives me a gentle hug with the arm around my waist, and I lean against him with a faint smile.

I study Aymeric curiously, then.I don’t know him as well, of course, but I’d always thought he had someone in the background.

He smiles wryly and shakes his head.“No, my friend, that is _not_ for me.I’ve no time for romance or the effort it would take to cultivate a lasting relationship.Perhaps I will, at one time, but… for now, a soldier I remain- I’ve too much on my shoulders.”

“Come now, I’m no less of a soldier now that I have Camp Dragonhead in my charge,” Haurchefant points out.“If a lover is something you want, you should make the time!I’ve found it well worth mine.”

Aymeric’s smile is honest, this time.“True, and full glad am I for you,” he replies.“I don’t think I’m quite so lucky as to have someone as extraordinary as the Warrior of Light drop into my lap without at least some work on my part, however- and Ishgard must be at the forefront of my mind, at least until we settle further into this tenuous alliance with the dragons.It is good that the heretics will no longer plague us, better yet that most of the dragons will not, but… there’s still Nidhogg and his brood to consider.”His smile falters a little, and I immediately shift my weight, pressing my boot ever so slightly down on top of Haurchefant’s, warning him to say nothing more on the subject.

He may have no time for romance or a lasting relationship, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a lover… one that he is desperately missing, now that he’s gone.

Luckily, Haurchefant is quick to catch on, and he changes the subject to something else entirely.The evening ends on a high note, and I catch Lucia’s eye and wink as Haurchefant and I leave.Tomorrow, I think, I will go to Camp Dragonhead and begin my ‘research’… and hope that there are at least one or two knights there with a sweet tooth and the willingness to be my test subjects.

As we prepare for bed, Haurchefant shakes his head ruefully.“I fear I rather stepped in it with Aymeric tonight,” he says.“I feel quite the fool.”

I smile at him from where I’m sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching him going over his armor- a habit he’s had from the first night I spent with him, something he does either before going to sleep or after waking, to make sure it’s in good condition.I don’t think he has, and I’m sure Aymeric doesn’t either.

He sighs and sits back, resting his elbows on his knees and looking up at me.“Truthfully, he’s always felt more pressure than most to push himself, especially now that he’s attained the position he has.I certainly don’t envy him, not one bit.Still… I should have realized that even he had someone to turn to.”

I hum softly and shrug.Like as not he hadn’t wanted anyone to know, and I could certainly be wrong- it’s none of my business either way.Still, it makes sense to me, especially with how he’d faltered ever so slightly when Nidhogg was mentioned.This makes me far more determined to see Estinien restored, but that will take more time than truly makes me happy to figure out, and so I have to wait and see what happens next.

He smiles up at me.“It _is_ rather romantic, when you think about it,” he muses.“Perhaps he doesn’t see it that way.”He rises gracefully from the floor and sits by me on the bed, wrapping me in a warm hug and kissing my temple.“I suppose the bastard lord of House Fortemps and the Warrior of Light doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.”

I laugh at him and shake my head.It doesn’t, I admit… but he and I, we are every bit as perfect.

“Indeed we are,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss to my temple and taking my left hand, smiling warmly to see the ring he’d given me there on my third finger.“I feel luckier every single day.I should be careful lest I get the notion to become a bard and write ballads about you.”

That makes me roll my eyes.I already have more songs about me than I’d like- _one_ would be more than I’d like, honestly- and adding on his particular flights of fancy would make for some awful music, I’m sure.

He hugs me tighter and laughs.“In other words, I should continue my command and not take up the harp,” he translates.“Very well, my dear… I live to please.”

I decide then to bring up the task Lucia had set me to and ask if we can go to Camp Dragonhead tomorrow so that I can start brushing up on my cooking skills.He looks absolutely thrilled.

“A birthday party?Splendid!I knew his birthday was soon, but had forgotten precisely when.I’m glad Lucia brought it up!Heavens know how humble Aymeric is- I’m sure he’ll be shocked that we’re celebrating _him_ with everything else going on.”He smiles broadly at me and nods.“Of course, we’ll return at dawn- I’ve work to do as it is, and you may have full command of the kitchen… or at least, what the cooks will allow you around meals.”

I smile and nod.I certainly don’t want to be in the way… and, I’m hoping that my desserts will be a welcome addition to lunch and dinner.I’ve several that I’m planning on trying, and whichever two seem to be the favorites will be the ones I perfect for Aymeric’s party.

“Excellent, my dear.That will do a great deal to boost the morale of my knights- I fear sweets aren’t often on the menu due to a lack of ingredients.”He brushes my hair back and kisses my forehead, then grins and pushes me down onto the pillows, giving me a long, thorough kiss.“This will endear you even further to them.I fear at this rate, they’d sooner see _me_ go than you.”

I grin up at him and wind my arms around his shoulders.That suits me fine, I think… I may not care much for the climate in Coerthas, but I do love Camp Dragonhead and the people therein, so it’s all the better if they like me in return.

He chuckles.“They do,” he promises.“You’ve no need to fear.As for me…” He nips at my lower lip, making me draw a soft breath.“ _I_ certainly can’t do without you- so whatever I can do to entice you to stay, I will certainly do it.”

This, I think, is a good start- and I can’t help but laugh a little as he nips at my mouth again.Everything is going splendidly, and I couldn’t be happier.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another chapter I sort of sat and stared at forever until inspiration hit in the form of a request I got from a dear anon friend:) It involved the WoL, Aymeric, and food. So, now I have at least two chapters worth (including this one) of things to write! I hadn't really intended this one to become a saga, more a series of drabbles, but I kind of like the way it's meandering. I don't know that I see an "end" in sight. It may be something I update when the mood strikes. 
> 
> In any case, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


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